There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The globalisation
has Correct article usage
Globalisation
brough
together Correct your spelling
brought
people
from different parts of the world
, helping different nations to get closer or improving worldwide business. However
there are Add a comma
However,
people
that do not agree with this
statement.
I am on
the opinion that Change preposition
of
the
globalisation has Correct article usage
apply
make
our differences less obvious and Change the verb form
made
also
has multiply
the possibilities of Change the verb form
multiplied
making
different business between Verb problem
doing
countries
improving
their economy.
Correct word choice
and improving
Firstly
, there is no doubt that our modern society is based in
globalization. Different Change preposition
on
countries
across the world
are making new deals every day. The importation and exportation of gods
, from food to construction materials, is helping emerging economies to Correct your spelling
goods
prospere
. As an example of Correct your spelling
prosper
this
, we can speak about the avocado industry
. Nowadays, we can eat avocado in every part of the world
at any time of the year. The avocado is a fruit that grows in warm climates, therefore
countries
such
as Colombia or Spain has
seen an increment Correct subject-verb agreement
have
of
revenue Change preposition
in
due to
this
industry
. The industry
has made possible
to hire Correct pronoun usage
it possible
people
that
were unemployed from peaking the fruit by driving the trucks around Europe in the Spanish case.
Correct pronoun usage
who
Furthermore
, the population from different countries
are nor
very different Correct your spelling
not
this
days. If we look closely Correct determiner usage
these
to
the fashion Change preposition
at
industry
for
example, the same fashion trends can be seen around the globe. It Add the comma(s)
, for
dose
not matter if you are in Argentina or in Japan the same looks can be found. Fashion in Correct your spelling
does
this
case, it
is a way of connection between different cultures.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
On the other hand
, there are disagreement
with Fix the agreement mistake
disagreements
this
globalised world
. Many people
said
that Wrong verb form
say
the
globalization is the reason why each country is Correct article usage
apply
loosing
Replace the word
losing
cultural
identity.
In conclusion, despite some negative opinions about globalisation, there is no Correct pronoun usage
its cultural
argue
that because of it some Replace the word
argument
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
economy
are Fix the agreement mistake
economies
raising
and perhaps for an individual Correct your spelling
rising
be
able to wear the same clothes Fix the infinitive
to be
from
a person in Japan when they are living in Argentina is a way of connection.Change preposition
as
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task response
Make sure to clearly present your position on the given topic. While you support globalization in the introduction, the concluding arguments are not very strong and can be enhanced.
task response
Ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea and that your examples directly support your argument. Some arguments, especially regarding fashion, might not be strong enough to support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words and phrases more effectively to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay easier to follow and more coherent.
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical errors and sentence structure. Improving these will make your essay clearer and more professional. For example, 'the globalisation has make' should be 'globalisation has made,' and 'our differences less obvious and also has multiply the possibilities' should be 'our differences less obvious and also has multiplied the possibilities.'
task response
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides several relevant points in support of globalization.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This shows an organized approach to writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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