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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram below shows the process of recycling glass bottles.

The diagram below shows the process of recycling glass bottles.
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The diagram illustrates the process by which how
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 are recycled.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are three stages in the process of recycling
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
, including collecting different kinds of
bottles
Use synonyms
, recycling them, and selling them in supermarkets. In the first
stage
Use synonyms
 of gathering many types of
bottles
Use synonyms
, used
bottles
Use synonyms
 are collected and taken to a collection centre.
Then
Linking Words
, a truck will deliver these
bottles
Use synonyms
 to a cleaning factory where they will be cleaned with water,
this
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 the first step in the second
stage
Use synonyms
 of recycling
bottles
Use synonyms
. In the next step, cleaned
bottles
Use synonyms
 are sorted into three kinds, which are clear, green, and brown material. Following that,
bottles
Use synonyms
 are brought to a recycling plant where they are melted down into recycled liquid
glass
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 new liquid
glass
Use synonyms
 by a furnace. In the final step of the second
stage
Use synonyms
, the liquid is poured into moulds to transform into particular shapes of
bottles
Use synonyms
. These new
bottles
Use synonyms
 are carried and displayed in supermarkets for customers to sell.
This
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 the final
stage
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 process

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words glass, bottles, stage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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