Computers ar often argued to be the most importent invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or diagree with this statment

Some
people
believe that the
computer
is the most essential development of the
last
years.
Whereas
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
do not agree with the nation. In my opinion , I strongly agree with the idea
due to
several factors that require
computer
intervention.
To begin
with,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers
contribute
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
our daily
live
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
routine
due to
the convenient approach
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
worldwide
people
communication.
Moreover
, it plays a significant role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
facilitating the discussion and
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
easy conversation with other
people
.
Nevertheless
, it
decreasing
Change the form of the verb
decreases
show examples
the number of
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
interviews which can keep
people
in stressful and anxious
sitations
Correct your spelling
situations
citations
. In, addition
people
used to send work emails and received feedback through
computers
at home.As an example, many
stuedent
Correct your spelling
students
student
are using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
devices to
applying
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
to abroad
universties
Correct your spelling
universities
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
able to eliminate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travel
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
. On the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
hand,
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
has a crucial impact on
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
productivities
Fix the agreement mistake
productivity
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology gadgets are able to reduce
humuns
Correct your spelling
human
humans
tasks.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
many exams are
computriesed
Correct your spelling
computerized
computerised
nowadays which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
that the scores can be detected and checked using
computers
.
Furthermore
, many
people
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
computers
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
that require a long time
such
as data analysis.
However
,
this
will deficient
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
effort and eliminate the
westing
Correct your spelling
wasting
show examples
of time in order to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity .
To conclude
, it
aruged
Correct your spelling
argued
computer
Change the article
the computer
show examples
is the most necessary invention of the
last
years. I totally agree with the nation due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
improvement
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
productivity and
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
more time.
In addition
, it
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
humuns
Correct your spelling
humans
to finish their work
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
esay
Correct your spelling
same
way.
Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on

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accuracy
Pay more attention to spelling and grammar. Consider revising words such as 'importent', 'diagree', 'computriesed'.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that your points flow logically between paragraphs.
depth
Develop your main points further by adding more detailed and specific examples. For example, further explain how computers improve productivity with concrete examples from various industries.
clarity
Work on enhancing the clarity and precision of your ideas for a more effective response to the task.
task response
The essay addresses the importance of computers and provides specific points on how they impact daily life and productivity. You're clearly able to link the utility of computers to personal and professional realms.
organization
Your essay includes an introduction, body, and conclusion, which indicates an awareness of essay structure. This contributes to coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • instantaneous
  • affordable
  • accelerated
  • data analysis
  • simulations
  • complex computations
  • automating
  • precision
  • manufacturing
  • project management
  • unparalleled
  • continuous learning
  • economic impact
  • advent
  • driver of economic growth
  • job creation
  • personalized services
  • quality of life
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