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Band 2.5

Recent research has confirmed that humans activity has become the greatest threat to planet and animal life .why do you think this has happened?.How can we reduce our impact of the natural world?

#research #humans #activity #threat #planet #life #impact #world
Recent
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
researches
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 confirmed that human beings are the utmost menace
on
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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living creatures
such
 as
animals
 and
plants
. And
that is
 because of the large number of factories and manufactured gas. Which causes weakness of the ozone layer, And
this
 makes the temperature rise in the world generally. Which leads to the death of
animals
 and
plants
 .
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the death rate of
animals
 has increased in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years.
And many
Correct word choice
Many
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 of its species became extinct,
such
 as Black rhinos,Dodo birds,And
finally
 the Giant penta tortoise. And that leads us to a major environmental problem.because if we don't find a solution for
this
,
animals
 will not stop becoming extinct and we will lose many of them. The same applies to
plants
. Another reason for the lack of
plants
 is the cutting of trees.
Overall
. I see that the solution to all of
this
 is to limit factors and logging, and
setting
Wrong verb form
set
show examples
 a specific number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
factors in each country. And we hope that
this
 will reduce the extinction of
animals
 and
plants
 in the world
Submitted by moh.alholimie on

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coherence cohesion
The essay should ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, and that it maintains a clear and consistent structure. Each topic or idea introduced should be well-developed and linked to the central theme of the essay with clear transitional phrases.
task response
Make sure to support main points with more detailed explanations and specific examples. Strengthen the argument by providing clear evidence, and ensure that any claims made are thoroughly justified.
task response
It's important to stay focused on the main topic and address all parts of the question clearly. Improve the variety and complexity of sentence structures to reflect a higher level of writing proficiency.
language
Revise and correct grammatical errors, and work on achieving greater precision and appropriateness of language use. This will help in presenting the ideas more clearly and professionally.
task response
The essay effectively recognizes and discusses the significant issue of human activity impacting the natural world.
task response
The introduction presents a clear statement of the problem, establishing the context for the discussion.
task response
The essay offers a practical suggestion for addressing the problem, demonstrating a thoughtful approach towards a potential solution.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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