Write about the following topic: Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
There is no denying the fact that beasts play a crucial role in our world.
This
essay will discuss the various reasons for this
case and express the most essential solutions to avoid pets being threatened.
To begin
with, there are many issues for creatures disappear
. Wrong verb form
disappearing
Firstly
, natural circumstances demonstrate the deactivation of the animal during the last
decades. In other words
, weather changes and fewer food sources can lead to the destruction of some kinds of beats. In addition
, there was a lack of governemental
financial support for the newborns Correct your spelling
governmental
For example
, knowledge and diversity of education have an impact on human understanding level, so the community reached a high number of dead wilds which was a reason for disappearing.
In terms of solving ideas, individuals should take a step forward to spread the awareness of natural mammalians in all divisions and contain the mental image of the beneficial
. It is Replace the word
benefits
also
possible to say that scholars and tutors should focus on implementation
Correct article usage
the implementation
new
animal studies especially the ones specialized in petsChange preposition
of new
disappeared
. Verb problem
apply
Moreover
, the private sector could invest and establish new projects that aim for life insurance. For instance
, according to
an interview published on the BBC platform, the crown prince of Saudi Arabia Mohammed Bin Salman has approved the 2030 vision for the country, which defined one of the vastest
projects for deer recycling life in the Alula region, after applying the project, the deers newborn reached around 80% increase in 2023.
In conclusion, there are many troubles for disappearing. It is Correct your spelling
largest
also
true that animal life can be saved through humans
care.Fix the agreement mistake
human
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the coherence of your essay by making your points flow more logically from one to another. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the connections between paragraphs are smooth.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purposes well. However, make sure that your essay's main body paragraphs are equally well-structured and thoroughly developed.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task, but take care to elaborate your ideas more comprehensively and provide more detailed examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure that your main ideas are clearly presented and easy to follow. Avoid vague statements and always connect back to the main point to maintain clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a neat frame for your discussion.
task achievement
You have made an effort to discuss both the reasons for animal extinction and potential solutions, which demonstrates an understanding of the task requirements.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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