IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyles in the countryside. other believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #lifestyles #countryside #health #cities
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Many
people
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 believe that it is
sampler
Correct your spelling
simpler
show examples
 in the
countryside
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 to have a healthy
lifestyle
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,
while
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 others argue that in the
cities
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 there are
health
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 benefits. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and give my own opinion. On the one hand, there are several
reasons
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 why
people
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 support the idea of being in the
countryside
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
.
Firstly
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, the neutral place.
This
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 is because the outside city provides fresh air and avoids the
populating
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population
show examples
.
Secondly
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,
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
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 place.
For instance
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, because it has been so far away from
people
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, consider it
privilege
Add an article
a privilege
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 and help
humanstoget
Correct your spelling
humans to get
humans get
 to rest .
Therefore
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, many
people
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 think that it is easier to have a healthy
lifestyle
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 in the
countryside
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 beneficial or important because of these
reasons
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that living in
cities
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 is a better approach. One of the main
reasons
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 is being close
by
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to
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people
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 .
This
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 can lead to their mental issues and have more ability to talk to someone and easily find one of them. Another point is that it is common to see many places to get some fresh and essential
health
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.
For example
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, there are gyms
to
Change preposition
for
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 workout and meditation
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
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.
As a result
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, supporters of
this
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 view argue that there are
health
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 benefits of living in city offers
.more
Correct your spelling
more
 advantages than in the
countryside
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. In my opinion, I believe that living in
cities
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 is better to have a
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
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lifestyle
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.
Although
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 being in the
countryside
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is
Verb problem
makes it
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 easier to live a perfect healthy
lifestyle
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, I think that there are
health
Use synonyms
 benefits of living in
cities
Use synonyms
 because being
more closely
Correct word choice
closer
show examples
 to the community and there are
severel
Correct your spelling
several
 places
provide
Correct pronoun usage
that provide
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 all
of
Change preposition
apply
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kinds of healthy
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lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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.
For example
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, gyms .
Therefore
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, I am convinced that living in
cities
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 is the best approach.
To conclude
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, both views have valid points. Some
people
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 think that staying in the
countryside
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 is better
due to
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guietly
Correct your spelling
quietly
 and neutrality
while
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 others support staying in
cities
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 keep their mental
health
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 and there are so many activities places.
However
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, I personally believe that living in the
cities
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 is more reasonable because of the
reasons
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 mentioned.
Submitted by marimal.ali880 on

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task achievement
Strengthen your arguments with more specific examples and explanations. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Work on your sentence structure and grammar. There are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that can hinder understanding.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Address transitions and linking phrases to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and elaborate on your points more clearly. Avoid vague statements to maintain clear logical structure.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which effectively fulfills the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
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