In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that studying and working are two essential aims to reach in life.
While
Linking Words
it is a commonly held belief that entities that offer work-training programs have a crucial role for youths, there is
also
Linking Words
an argument that joining colleges plays a substantial role for others.
This
Linking Words
essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, training through companies or agencies has an impact on career development,
In other words
Linking Words
, as much as the candidates face new experiments, as much as they have a vast background in various divisions.
In addition
Linking Words
, learning by diving into the depth of new positions and departments can activate the employee's intelligence.
For example
Linking Words
, if I was a training manager for the juniors,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would advise them and gradually monitor the directed tasks to maintain the diversity of knowledge.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, undergraduate degrees can build a bridge
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
specific
subjects
Change noun form
subjects'
subject's
show examples
foundations, values, and principles. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to say that
tutor's
Correct article usage
a tutor's
show examples
wealth
experience
Change preposition
of experience
show examples
in some areas illustrates the work secrets and helps the pupils to
be succeeded
Wrong verb form
succeed
show examples
by reducing the percentage of error trials.
Moreover
Linking Words
, communication and relationships in the college community could enhance future academic chances.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
a study published on the BBC platform
last
Linking Words
year, 98% of bachelor graduates in the United Kingdom were smarter than others in making relations in school society, so they have huge offers by investing in
colleague's
Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues'
show examples
connections. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, I tend to believe that emotionally intelligent individuals
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
able to equate between study life and professional life.
Submitted by alsalhijohara on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You provided a well-rounded discussion on both sides of the issue. However, to fully achieve a complete response, ensure that you balance the two perspectives evenly and improve the depth of analysis for each argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to enhance coherence, strive for smoother transitions between ideas and ensure that each paragraph flows naturally from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which help in organizing the overall structure.
task achievement
You successfully highlighted the benefits of both work-based training and university education, showing a balanced view which is critical for a full response.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: