Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they find the most interesting

Nowadays, some people believe that in all schools teenagers should concentrate on all
subjects
but, others think that teenagers should choose lessons that they are good at.
To begin
with, people think that teenagers should concentrate on all school
subjects
equally
however
, some people say that pupils should choose lessons that they are good at and I think
this
is true because If students learn a subject,which interests them, they will master that sphere,which they want.
Moreover
, if a child learns a small number of
subjects
,he can spend more time on all of them and can learn more data.
On the other hand
, children need to learn other
subjects
too
for example
if they go to the historical and famous places like castles and old buildings they should know who lived there and which kingdom is and another example is they should learn science too because they should know what they are eating, is that harmful or not they can tell
this
because of learning science. In conclusion, should learn lessons that they are good at
on the other hand
, pupils need to learn other
subjects
too.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a more structured introduction and conclusion. Clearly outline your main points in the introduction and summarize your argument in the conclusion.
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coherence cohesion
Try to use linking words and phrases (e.g., 'moreover', 'on the other hand', 'therefore') more effectively to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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