In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write atleast 250 words.
No
one
can deny doing excercise
is good for our health. Correct your spelling
exercise
However
, there could be a debate which
way is better: hiring a personal fitness trainer or doing it in classes. Each of them has different pros and cons. Nowadays, many Change preposition
about which
people
choose to former option for several reasons.
First of all, it inhances
their willingness. Trainers struggle to Correct your spelling
enhances
make
effective Verb problem
find
way
to make them come to do Fix the agreement mistake
ways
excercise
. Correct your spelling
exercise
Additionally
, people
do not want to lose their change
to Correct your spelling
chance
excersice
, Correct your spelling
exercise
due to
the high price of personal training program
. It increases Fix the agreement mistake
programs
willpower
of Correct article usage
the willpower
people
. Second,
it offers more
personalized program. Trainers always check their member's physical Correct article usage
a more
statues
and make more fittable Correct your spelling
status
way
to practice. They Fix the agreement mistake
ways
offers
not only physical Change the verb form
offer
trainings
but Change the wording
training
pieces of training
also
diet plans. What's more, it decreases injury. Last
, it has more time flexibility. In modern society, there are many people
who works
not regular time. Change the verb form
work
For instance
, some
Correct your spelling
someone
one
have
to work at night of rotation work. It is hard for them Change the verb form
has
enter
group activities.
In my Add the particle
to enter
opinion
it is Add a comma
opinion,
very
positive Correct article usage
a very
developement
. Correct your spelling
development
For example
, I had tried to learn swimming in classes. Since there were too many classmates, it was nearly impossible for instructor
to focus Add an article
the instructor
an instructor
all
of the students. That Change preposition
on all
had
made me Unnecessary verb
apply
hard
to learn Correct word choice
apply
swimming
. Replace the word
swim
On
contrast, when I took Change preposition
In
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
Correct your spelling
one-on-one
one
lesson
, the situation was much better. I could learn how to breathe, kick and jump very precisely. Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
Also
, I didn't need to wait
others to fully enjoy Add the preposition
wait for
pool
, which Add an article
the pool
a pool
improving
my interest in swimming.
Wrong verb form
improved
To sum up
, hiring personal
trainer is good since it Add an article
a personal
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
people
to excersice
hard with more safe Correct your spelling
exercise
condition
. Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
Also
, it fits for whom want to practice irregulary
. For Correct your spelling
irregularly
regularly
these reason
, I think it will lead not only an individual but Change the determiner
this reason
these reasons
also
whole country in a good condition.Submitted by semimama on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Include transitional words such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally' to further enhance logical sequencing and smooth transitions between your points.
task achievement
Provide a little more detail and depth when explaining why hiring a personal trainer is beneficial, potentially with more varied examples.
task achievement
You've given relevant examples from personal experience which supports your argument well.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives it a good structure.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.