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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom. Others believe that online learning is more effective. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #interaction #teacher #classroom
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Based on the development of technology, most students tend to continue their studies through online platforms and most argue that it is more beneficial than learning
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a teacher
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
physical class.
This
 essay will argue that
both
 perspectives of learning ways to enhance student's knowledge and skills. When it is concerned about learning in a physical
classroom
, it provides a wide range of merits. Apart from that, we can highlight pupil's concentration towards the lessons in a
classroom
.
Then
, a teacher is able to build towards the students in an effective manner.
In addition
 to that tutor is able to control the children's behaviour
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
closely. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 method is worthwhile
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for the kids and the students who require additional guidelines for their studies.
Moreover
, there is the best example in my family. My parents had attended my brother to an online mathematics class which was difficult to understand sometimes. Even though, he was still unable to track the lessons properly.
Further
, after appointing a physical tutor, he has been able to be a champ in that subject.
On the other hand
, learning through online classes paves the way for upwarding modern learning systems. It is more convenient than attending a domestic
classroom
.
Further
, cloud learning provides plenty of study materials to enhance student's skills as well. I feel it saves time by contrasting in-person
learnings
Fix the agreement mistake
learning
show examples
. If a student needs to learn something where online system allows them to do it. In conclusion,
both
 point of study ways are given their own advantages
while
 still remaining with some limitations.
According to
 my point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, I believe that in current society everyone should allow and appreciate
both
 systems.
While
 physical
classroom
 provides a major in the development of people skills, online system allows a wide range of knowledge through the internet.
This
 essay argued the advantages of
both
 perspectives.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the introduction could be more concise and clearly state your position on the issue. Try to directly address the topic in the introduction without overly broad statements.
task achievement
Your main points are generally supported with examples, but some of the ideas could be developed further. For instance, the paragraph about online learning could include more specific examples or data to substantiate the benefits mentioned.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each idea transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to make your argument more cohesive.
task achievement
When discussing personal examples, make sure they are clearly connected to your main argument. The example about your brother is relevant but could be more closely tied to the overall point you are making about in-person learning being more effective for some students.
task achievement
Your essay covers both perspectives of the topic, which shows a balanced approach. You provided an example from personal experience to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes your essay easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immediate feedback
  • retention of information
  • sense of community
  • social and communication skills
  • controlled learning environment
  • flexibility in scheduling
  • online resources and tools
  • cater to different learning styles
  • learn at their own pace
  • complex subjects
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