IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #harbour #summerise #information #features #comparisons
The plans illustrate the changes
taht
Correct your spelling
that
 took place in Porth Harbour between 2000 and today.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the town underwent a complete transformation with the conversion of some areas and the replacement of others. Over the period, the north of the
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
 had a significant change.
For example
, another dock has been added,
while
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 beach did not
changes
Change the verb form
change
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 structure.
In addition
,
marina
Correct article usage
the marina
show examples
 for yachts was turned into a place for fishing boats,
while
 showers & toilets and
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 park remained the same.
Also
, on the other bank from the docks appeared some cafes and shops to the left of
lifeboats
Correct article usage
the lifeboats
show examples
.
Moreover
,
castle
Add an article
the castle
show examples
 was replaced by
hotel
Add an article
a hotel
show examples
,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 private beaches have no changes at all. By the way,
road
Add an article
the road
a road
show examples
 on the left part of the map stays absolutely the same too. In conclusion, it is obvious that the Port has developed greatly during the period and everything that has been done is aimed at improving the standard of living in
this
 area.
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, focus on streamlining the transitions between different parts of the harbor. For instance, consider logically grouping the changes to the north side and south side separately.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of tenses throughout the essay to present a clearer timeline of changes. Also, please clarify or correct minor inaccuracies such as in 'public beach did not changes his structure.'
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details, particularly about the significant changes to make the response more comprehensive.
task achievement
Aim to explain the relevance or impact of the changes more thoroughly. How do these changes affect the daily life and activities around the harbor?
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete and concise overview of the changes in the harbor.
logical structure
The response is overall well-structured and follows a logical flow, making it easier for the reader to understand the described transformations.
supported main points
The author successfully identifies and compares various changes in the harbor over time, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: