In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Somepeople say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,there is no doubt that

people

Use synonyms

have longer

lifespan

Fix the agreement mistake

lifespans

show examples

than before.

While

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

accept that it is beneficial for

society

Use synonyms

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that it may

Add a missing verb

be more

show examples

likely to

cause

Use synonyms

huge

stressful

Replace the word

stress

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

. On the one hand,old

people

Use synonyms

underwent many things and they could bring the experience for the young

people

Use synonyms

so that they hardly

made

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

similar mistakes

Change preposition

show examples

the older.Through that

ways

Fix the agreement mistake

way

show examples

,it significantly

promote

Change the verb form

promotes

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

society

Change noun form

society's

show examples

evolution and

people

Use synonyms

have more

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

to complete some trouble.

Besides

Linking Words

,old

people

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

boost

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumption which

enhance

Change the verb form

enhances

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

development.

For instance

Linking Words

,old

people

Use synonyms

have many leisure time ,leading to they tend to travel or shop.It

enhance

Change the verb form

enhances

show examples

the consumption

Change preposition

show examples

society

Use synonyms

to some

extend

Replace the word

extent

show examples

However

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

would argue that the advantages of having an

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

outweighed the disadvantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

old

people

Use synonyms

hardly become one of the workforce

Change preposition

show examples

society

Use synonyms

and that

Use synonyms

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

huge pressure

for

Change preposition

show examples

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

,leading a massive funding for old-age

pension

Fix the agreement mistake

pensions

show examples

For example

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

there it

show examples

it has

Wrong verb form

will be

show examples

more and more old

people

Use synonyms

in the future in China and the low fertility rate

also

Linking Words

happen here.Through

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

two

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

,governments should spend enormous money to solve it.

Besides

Linking Words

,with the increasing of old

people

Use synonyms

,governments should set up more and more hospitals or spare sports courts for them.It not only

Use synonyms

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

massive funding but

also

Linking Words

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

in the managed problem.They should spend more energy to control

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the old

people

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,it seems to me that the potential dangers of

Add an article

an aging

the aging

show examples

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population are more significant

that

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

the possible benefits. It not only

Use synonyms

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

financial stress but

also

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

management

difficult

Replace the word

difficulties

show examples

both

Change preposition

for both

show examples

the government and

society

Use synonyms

fiasngsSat Sep 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

There are quite a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can be improved for clarity. Consider revising sentences such as 'i believe that it may more likely to cause huge stressful on government' to 'I believe it is more likely to put significant stress on the government.'

examples

Try to expand on the examples provided to make them more specific and detailed. For instance, elaborate on how elderly people contribute to the economy through specific activities.

coherence

Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and points to enhance the logical flow of the essay. Words like 'furthermore' and 'additionally' can be useful here.

introduction

The introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer's stance.

examples

The essay contains relevant points and examples to support the main ideas.

conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and restates the writer's opinion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Life expectancy
Demographic shift
Healthcare infrastructure
Pension funds
Intergenerational solidarity
Consumer demographics
Workforce participation
Cultural heritage
Urban planning
Assisted living facilities
Socio-economic challenges
Sustainable development

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
You recently completed a course and you borrowed a book from your teacher, which you couldn't return in time. You would like to return the book now. Write a lefter to your teacher and say What book was it How helpful was the book Explain why you couldn't return it in time.
I am Simi and I was your student in the economics course at Capitano University. I am writing this letter, in regard to the book of your is with me which you gave me for solving practical questions and I want to return it to you.
6.5
band
In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this a positive or negative development?
In recent times, the issue of purchasing international food from supermarkets that are produced all over the world has sparked considerable debate. This essay aims to discuss both the positive and negative sides of the argument before presenting my perspective. Purchasing produced items from all over the world is an essential topic to discuss and analyze. There is no denying that it is an important point. Otherwise, it is controversial. It is important to speak about the pros and cons of providing food from all over the world.
6
band
Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.
There is an ever-increasing use of technology, such as tablets and laptops, in the classroom. It is often argued that this is a positive development, whilst others disagree and think it will lead to adverse ramifications. This essay agrees that an increase in technology is beneficial to students and teachers.
7.5
band
You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorect. write a letter to the editor of the magazin.In your letter correct the information in the article explan why it is important for the magazin to give correct information suggest what the magazine should do about this situation
I am writing this letter regarding an article which is about the history and traditions of Iran that was published on 17 October 2023 in Hamshahri magazine ,this data related city called Shiraz,which, is located in the south of Iran was wrong.
5.5
band
Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Sports has been a part of our society for many years. Nowadays, governments allocate training funds for eligible individuals to participate in international sporting events, such as the Olympics or the Southeast Asean Games. While some people would say that the money should instead be allocated to the needs of the general public, I believe that it is important for the government to support the training of its athletes. This will not only boost the confidence of these professionals but it will also help in achieving their goal, and that is to win a gold for their country.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

You recently completed a course and you borrowed a book from your teacher, which you couldn't return in time. You would like to return the book now. Write a lefter to your teacher and say What book was it How helpful was the book Explain why you couldn't return it in time.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree