Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Animals

Use synonyms

far beyond the time of human existence have lived on the. planet Earth.

However

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, over time, these

animals

Use synonyms

are no longer extant

due to

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multi-faceted causes ceasing them to live in newer centuries environment.

Animals

Use synonyms

such

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as dinosaurs,

mammoth

Fix the agreement mistake

mammoths

show examples

, and other creatures have extinct, are we going to allow more of these poor creatures to

also

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vanish from the globe's surface

due to

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human misconduct? What are the particular reasons for

this

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occurrence and what can civilisation do to avert

this

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crux? Right off the bat, it is crystal clear that climatory changes have affected the Earth's geographical state, which caused many

animals

Use synonyms

to be forced out of their habitats.

For instance

Linking Words

due to

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extreme heat in Antarctica, the melting of thick glaciers over a depth of over 1 meter has been reported. Ice-aged

animals

Use synonyms

are unable to withstand the uprising heat, causing them to die

due to

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internal factors. Inevitably,

this

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is a result of the greenhouse effect by mankind; the emission of chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs).

Therefore

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, it is the people's duty to minimise the utilisation of electronics that cause the release of additional heat by those gases. Other than that, another man-made effect of extinction is illegal logging. Obviously, private companies harvest logs of wood to gain an incredible amount of profit as they are gluttonous.

Nevertheless

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this

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self-righteous doing causes more harm to habitats in the jungle, especially to

animals

Use synonyms

that depend on trees for shelter. Alternatively, the nation's government should carry out new legislation for illegal logging, to ensure

this

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activity is exacerbated,and a stricter penalty should be implemented on the perpetrator and their company.

As a result

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, less unmonitored and unapproved logging will take place domestically. In conclusion, an intervention to mitigate animal extinction is paramount, as more innocent creature's lives are at stake.

That is

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why humans need to shift paradigms and use a multi-faceted approach as it is indispensable in creating a harmonious habitat for our lovely creatures.

Additionally

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, the combined synergies of the contemporary citizens and their government are substantial in order to wholly curb

this

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stringent issue

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task achievement

The essay should provide more specific examples to support the arguments made. For instance, while illegal logging is mentioned, details about specific regions or cases would make the argument stronger.

coherence cohesion

While the organization of the essay is generally good, some sentences could be more concisely written. For example, the sentence, 'Ice-aged animals are unable to withstand the uprising heat, causing them to die due to internal factors,' could be simplified for clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and compelling introduction and conclusion, which enhances readability and ensures all key points are addressed.

coherence cohesion

The arguments are generally well-structured, and there is a logical flow between different sections of the essay, which makes it easier for readers to follow.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates clear, comprehensive ideas on the causes and solutions for animal extinction, showing a deep understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

346 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

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Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Your opinion

computers are being used more and more in education. discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school while others think these subjects should be taught later. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?