Many governement think that economic progress is theri most impotrant goal. some people, however, think that other types of progress are eqaully important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is an undeniable fact that boosting
economic
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the economic
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growth of a country is getting very popular nowadays. It is often argued by some folks that prioritizing those tasks that
leads
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lead
show examples
the
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to the
show examples
economic development of a region is more crucial. Meanwhile, other schools of thought still
clam
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claim
show examples
that focusing on other tasks
such
as environmental
progress
and preventing cultural heritage are equally significant.
This
essay will explore both sides of the argument before presenting a logical opinion. On the one hand, supporters of the idea that encouraging economic
progress
program
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programs
show examples
is the best way to improve citizen's lives. Providing facilities like high-quality education,
advance
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advanced
show examples
medical treatment and better
place
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places
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to live
play
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plays
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an important role
to enhance
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in enhancing
show examples
economy
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the economy
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of a state.
For instance
, countries like China and United
State
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States
show examples
focused on economic development to maintain their positions as
global
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a global
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power, leading to
the
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apply
show examples
significant improvement in the quality of life of their individuals.
Thus
,
this
factor clearly
express
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expresses
show examples
one side of the argument.
While
,
on the other hand
, advocates of the view that working on economic development tasks is not enough, there is
need
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a need
show examples
for environmental stewardship. Environmental
progress
is crucial to ensure the sustainability of natural resources and addressing global issues
such
as climate change. To illustrate, countries like Sweden and Denmark prioritize their social welfare and environmental sustainability, which has led to the
high-level
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high level
show examples
of happiness and
well being
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well-being
show examples
, even if their
economics
Correct your spelling
economies
show examples
are not the largest in the world.
Hence
,
this
factor single-handedly elaborates the other side of the argument. As far
my
Correct word choice
as my
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opinion is concerned, I believe that economic advancement is undeniably important,
other
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and other
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forms of
the
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apply
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progress
cannot be overlooked, which is why I am in favor of the second point of view because citizen's happiness leads to the success of a country.
To conclude
,
although
people have different
opinion
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opinions
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regarding the statement, I favor the second view as
mentally
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mental
show examples
and
physically
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physical
show examples
well-being is much more important than economics.
Submitted by tsarfraz170 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Proofread the essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors. This will make the essay more professional and easier to read.
task achievement
Good job presenting both sides of the argument comprehensively and providing examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, giving a clear outline and a satisfactory closing to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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