More and more people no longer read newspapers or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?
In current society, it is becoming common for
people
to access to
Change preposition
apply
news
about the world through the internet
, Capitalize word
Internet
instead
of through newspapers or TV programs. I generally believe this
is a positive trend.
First,
one positive aspect of internet
Capitalize word
Internet
news
concerns immediacy. Since people
can stay connected with the world, they are able to follow the latest trends. This
means up-to-the-minute information
can be accessed. Imagine a business man
is on his way to a meeting. He can check the real-time variation of the stock market anytime with his phone. Correct your spelling
businessman
By
Change preposition
With
the
instant Correct article usage
apply
information
, he can make better decisions during the negotiation. Neither newspaper
nor TV can provide Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
this
level of instantaneous information
for the rapidly changing financing industry.
Moreover
, online news
is also
convenient for the disabled and elderly person
. Fix the agreement mistake
people
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
provide
all sorts of access for Change the verb form
provides
people
who cannot leave their homes due to
physical restrain, enabling them to step outside of their usual routines. This
results in safety and independence. For example
, an elderly person depends on wheelchair
to get around. He can simply open his mobile device to check the daily Add an article
a wheelchair
news
at any time without bothering to go out and purchase a newspaper
.
However
, it is also
important to note the negative aspect
of Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
internet
media. Capitalize word
Internet
Information
found on the internet
often lacks rigorous editing and review processes, which diminished
Wrong verb form
diminishes
the
credibility. Based on these unreliable. Correct article usage
apply
people
may make poor decisions. Consider a school is
planning for an upcoming sports event. The organizer schedules the event based on the weather forecast report Correct pronoun usage
that is
on
the Change preposition
in
newspaper
. In contrast
, the information
found online may be less reliable.
In conclusion, although
newspaper
and TV programs are superior in reliability, Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
news
on Add an article
the internet
internet
is still Capitalize word
Internet
favored
by more Change the spelling
favoured
people
since
its immediacy and convenience.Change preposition
because of
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Grammar
Be cautious with minor grammatical errors (e.g., 'concerns immediacy' should be 'concerns the immediacy'). Paying attention to such details can improve the clarity.
Vocabulary
Avoid repetition of phrases like 'internet news.' Instead, use synonyms or pronouns to maintain variety and interest.
Coherence
Ensure all sentences are fully coherent (e.g., 'Based on these unreliable.' is incomplete and unclear).
Structure
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to support points (e.g., businessman checking the stock market, elderly person using a mobile device).
Task Achievement
Balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects of the development.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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