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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that childen should be involved in making their rules while other says only adults should be creating their rules. Discuss both views and give e your opinio .

#people #childen #rules #adults #e #opinio
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It is true that creating school
rules
 can be a difficult task.
While
 it is a common belief that making school
rules
 should involve
children
 in it, there is
also
 an argument that opposes it.
This
 essay will analyse both statements and express my opinion.
Firstly
, young scholar's involvement in making
rules
 make them more responsible. To put it another way, they will respect and follow the
rules
 made by them which results in disciplined schools.
In addition
,
Children
 can learn practical life lessons and skills
such
 as critical thinking, discipline and many more.
On the Other Hand
, adults are far more experienced in overseeing the current issues and creating
rules
 to resolve them.which
children
 are unable because of their lack of maturity.
Moreover
, adults involve government teachers and parents of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 who are educated and familiar with the legalities of education. System and the
rules
. Reated by them.will be better. In Conclusion,
although
 only adults should be given priority
while
 making the
rules
 for
children
 yet
children
 must be taught
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of responsibility over voicing their opinions which they see as better for themselves and their fellow students.
Submitted by asr.rajni2001 on

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task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, ensure that transition words are used effectively to link ideas together.
task achievement
Better clarify and expand on some of the ideas presented. For instance, the point about children learning practical life lessons could be detailed further to make it clearer.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported with explanations, making your arguments easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay considers both viewpoints, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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