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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that children should be involved in making their school\'s rules. Others say that only adults should make the school\'s rules. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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A commonly held view is that
children
Use synonyms
 must participate in the process of establishing school regulations. Yet there remains a contentious debate as critics tend to believe that adults should be the sole decision-makers.
This
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 essay will analyze both viewpoints and present my perspective on the matter. On one hand, involving students in the formulation of school rules promotes a sense of ownership and accountability among them. When
children
Use synonyms
 are granted the opportunity to contribute to the establishment of guidelines, they are more likely to respect and comply with these regulations, which can foster a more harmonious school environment.
For example
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, when scholars participate in discussions about behaviour expectations or disciplinary actions, they are more inclined to embrace these rules as they feel their voices matter.
Additionally
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,
this
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 participation cultivates vital skills
such
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 as critical thinking, collaboration, and civic engagement, preparing them for future responsibilities.
On the other hand
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, adults typically possess a more profound expertise regarding educational frameworks and the nuances of rule-making. Their extensive experience equips them to address multifaceted school-related challenges and formulate guidelines that consider a broader range of implications.
For instance
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, teachers and administrators understand the diverse needs of the student population and can create rules that ensure fairness and safety for all individuals. Involving parents and educational professionals in the decision-making process may lead to more efficient and pragmatic regulations that
children
Use synonyms
, in their limited experience, might overlook. In conclusion,
although
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 I contend that adults should predominantly direct the rule-making process
due to
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 their acquired knowledge and expertise, it remains essential to encourage
children
Use synonyms
 to express their opinions.
Such
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 engagement not only allows young learners to appreciate the significance of their input but
also
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 nurtures a sense of responsibility, thereby empowering them to advocate for themselves and their peers effectively.

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task achievement
Your essay covers all parts of the task effectively, clearly addressing both viewpoints and providing a balanced discussion. To further improve, ensure each paragraph is fully developed with more detailed examples or evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with a good introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next argument to maintain coherence and flow.
task achievement
Try to enhance your main points with more specific examples or statistical data, if available, to reinforce your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well crafted, clearly presenting the topic and your stance.
general
Your use of language and vocabulary is strong, making your ideas clear and easy to understand.
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