You have seen an advertisement in Australian magazines for someone to live with a family for six months and look after six-year-old child write a letter # Explain why you would like this # Give detail of why you are a suitable person to employ # Say how would you spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazines #someone #six #months #child #detail #person #time #australia

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Dear Mr Ashoorian I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter regarding to vacancy

announcment

Correct your spelling

announcement

in Sydney Asturalian

magzines

Correct your spelling

magazines

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

you have a babysitter or nanny

that she

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

lives with family

during

Change preposition

for

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

six months. I am interested

looking

Change preposition

in looking

show examples

after your child and living at your home . To elaborate on why I am appropriate for

this

Linking Words

job,I have vast knowledge about behavioural and psychology and nutritional

requirments

Correct your spelling

requirements

,since,I

was studies

Change the verb form

was studying

show examples

at university in

pediatrics

Change the spelling

paediatrics

show examples

besides

Linking Words

,I can

playing

Change the form of the verb

play

show examples

with children,

moreover

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

can

ready

Add a missing verb

be ready

show examples

looking

Wrong verb form

look

show examples

for

Add an article

a child

the child

show examples

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

over the two years . During my

leaisure

Correct your spelling

leisure

time

Change preposition

show examples

the weekend,I like to

learning

Change the verb

learn

show examples

tennis professionally,

further

Linking Words

,I plan to visit the Canberra Museum to collect and familiar

with

Correct pronoun usage

myself with

show examples

culture and

tardion

Correct your spelling

tradition

. I

wii

Correct your spelling

will

look forward to your reply,please feel free to contact me if you need any details. Yours sincerely, Pardis Ghobadi

Submitted by pardisghobadi on Sat Sep 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Try to proofread your letter to correct grammatical and spelling errors. For example, 'Sydney Asturalian magzines' should be 'Sydney Australian magazines.'

coherence cohesion

Ensure that paragraphs contain a single clear idea. Some sentences about your qualifications and free-time activities are mixed together, which may confuse the reader.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure by using transitional words and phrases. This will help your reader follow the flow of your letter more easily.

task response

You have addressed all parts of the task well, explaining your interest in the job, your qualifications, and your plans for your free time.

task response

The tone of the letter is polite and suitable for a formal job application.

coherence cohesion

Your greeting and closing are proper and appropriate for a formal letter.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

134 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
These days, more and more people prefer to use shared transport such as buses, trams or carsharing applications on their smartphones rather than driving their own cars. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages
Nowadays, an increasing number of individuals opt to take public transit or carpool using smartphone applications instead of driving their own vehicles. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages if fewer people travel using their own personal automobiles.
<4
band
Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of each individual to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people are convinced that the government ought be accountable for eliminating crimes ,whereas others believe that the population who should protect themselves . In my opinion ,I consider that the government has more influence to deter crimes.
7.5
band
The best way to solve traffic and transport problems is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in surburbs or countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life of city dwellers be maintained?
Overpopulation is a significant concern in today's world. Many people believe that residents tend to live in cities rather than the suburbs or countryside. The increase in population within cities can lead to numerous issues. In this essay, I will discuss the detrimental effects of overpopulation and feasible measures to address this challenge.
4.5
band
In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public spaces. many people believe that such a ban is jusitified. Do you agree or disagree?
Smoking has been prohibited in public areas ranging from Bus stands, and railway stations to parks. This essay agrees with this assertion because this will not only alleviate the impacts on non-smokers' health but also motivate the smoker to quit this unhealthy habit.
7.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Some people suggest that in some countries more and more young individuals are choosing to enrol in hands-on experience instead of attending university. I believe that despite there are many disadvantages such as low salary or low social status, the advantages can override them.

Word Count

These days, more and more people prefer to use shared transport such as buses, trams or carsharing applications on their smartphones rather than driving their own cars. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of each individual to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The best way to solve traffic and transport problems is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in surburbs or countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life of city dwellers be maintained?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public spaces. many people believe that such a ban is jusitified. Do you agree or disagree?