You have seen an advertisement in Australian magazines for someone to live with a family for six months and look after six-year-old child write a letter # Explain why you would like this # Give detail of why you are a suitable person to employ # Say how would you spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazines #someone #six #months #child #detail #person #time #australia

Dear Mr Ashoorian I am writing

this

letter regarding to vacancy

announcment

Correct your spelling

announcement

in Sydney Asturalian

magzines

Correct your spelling

magazines

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

you have a babysitter or nanny

that she

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

lives with family

during

Change preposition

for

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

six months. I am interested

looking

Change preposition

in looking

show examples

after your child and living at your home . To elaborate on why I am appropriate for

this

job,I have vast knowledge about behavioural and psychology and nutritional

requirments

Correct your spelling

requirements

,since,I

was studies

Change the verb form

was studying

show examples

at university in

pediatrics

Change the spelling

paediatrics

show examples

besides

,I can

playing

Change the form of the verb

play

show examples

with children,

moreover

Change the capitalization

show examples

can

ready

Add a missing verb

be ready

show examples

looking

Wrong verb form

look

show examples

for

Add an article

a child

the child

show examples

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

over the two years . During my

leaisure

Correct your spelling

leisure

time

Change preposition

show examples

the weekend,I like to

learning

Change the verb

learn

show examples

tennis professionally,

further

,I plan to visit the Canberra Museum to collect and familiar

with

Correct pronoun usage

myself with

show examples

culture and

tardion

Correct your spelling

tradition

. I

wii

Correct your spelling

will

look forward to your reply,please feel free to contact me if you need any details. Yours sincerely, Pardis Ghobadi

Submitted by pardisghobadi on Sat Sep 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Try to proofread your letter to correct grammatical and spelling errors. For example, 'Sydney Asturalian magzines' should be 'Sydney Australian magazines.'

coherence cohesion

Ensure that paragraphs contain a single clear idea. Some sentences about your qualifications and free-time activities are mixed together, which may confuse the reader.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure by using transitional words and phrases. This will help your reader follow the flow of your letter more easily.

task response

You have addressed all parts of the task well, explaining your interest in the job, your qualifications, and your plans for your free time.

task response

The tone of the letter is polite and suitable for a formal job application.

coherence cohesion

Your greeting and closing are proper and appropriate for a formal letter.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

134 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?
It is thought by people around the world the number of countries crime of issue to solve is the common way this jailhouse . However a more solution is to support people which throughout teaching a better education .In my opinion i disagree that it is not good to educate people in prison.
7
band
What are the causes of crime? What can be down to tackle it?
Committing a crime depends on a variety of reasons and includes many options. The government reacted to this problem in different ways, but still exists. In the upcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss my point of view in detail.
7
band
Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed by some that there are plenty of troubles. Also, it boils down to one thing government officials have figured out the best way to solve them. Some urgent problems can be eliminated through international participation. I partly agree with this opinion based on two reasons including knowledge and facilities, which I will discuss in the following paragraphs.
5
band
Should we invent a new language for people from different countries to use for the international communication? Do you think there are more benefits or more problems with it? Explain.
To bridging the needs to communicate with people from different nations, is it necessary to invent a new language? in this essay i will uncover the advantages and disadvantages of inventing a new language, and the reason why i completely disagree with the notion given.
4.5
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children to be good members of society However, others believe School is the best place to learn this. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.
Few individuals believe that parents should teach their children to become better members of the society. But, others think the best place to learn about this is at academy. Although later notion can be beneficial, but in my opinion parents should teach their children to become good citizens

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

What are the causes of crime? What can be down to tackle it?

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Should we invent a new language for people from different countries to use for the international communication? Do you think there are more benefits or more problems with it? Explain.

Some people think that parents should teach their children to be good members of society However, others believe School is the best place to learn this. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.