Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have advantages or more disadvantages?

Nowadays, a large number of
people
have to stay and
work
in their
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
for many hours
due to
the
problems
they face in life.
On the other hand
, too much
work
may cause
problems
for them. In my view, the benefits are greater than the drawbacks. In
this
essay, both pros and cons will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, it has some positive points.
Initially
Add a comma
,
show examples
there are many
people
in
this
society who are facing economic
problems
and lack of budget .
In other
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
They have to
work
constantly to build a good future.
For
example
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example,
show examples
Many drivers who
work
for internet taxi companies like Uber are employees whose salaries are not enough and they have to choose a second job to maintain their lives.
Moreover
, There are
also
those who are addicted to
work
for reasons
such
as not having enough fun. In fact, they believe that the best fun for them is to
work
.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, Working a lot can
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
beneficial for some
people
so that they can have a better life .
On the other hand
, every coin has two sides.
Firstly
, every activity that humans do in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
can be harmful if it exceeds the balanced limit. To be more precise, working too much can
also
have many disadvantages . To exemplify, If an employee sits behind the desk and works for more than the allowed working hours, she can suffer from back pain and neck pain.
Furthermore
, When we want to
work
too much, we have to skip our fun and spend less time with family and friends, which
according to
research can cause many diseases
such
as depression. In conclusion, on the basis of the points above,working a lot,
in addition
to having many drawbacks, at the same time, because
people
are involved in economic
problems
in their lives today, it can be very beneficial. So, from my perspective, the merits overpower the demerits.
Submitted by rezvanmansoori388 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied transitional phrases and linking words to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score for Task Response, ensure that you fully develop each point with more detailed explanations and relevant specific examples.
task achievement
Work on fixing minor grammatical errors and improving sentence structure for a clearer and more polished response.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of working long hours.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the writer's opinion and outlines the structure of the essay, which helps in guiding the reader.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed and restates the writer's stance, providing a strong ending to the essay.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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