It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is significantly important that
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
and young part of society should save
money
for their
future
expenses. On the one hand saving
money
is important because people can
lost
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lose
be lost
show examples
their jobs.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
people do not need to hoard
money
if their earnings
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a lot. I agree with the point of view which states about keeping
money
for
future
and there is a
reasons
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reason
show examples
why I think so. I agree,
with
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that saving
money
is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
part of
teching
Correct your spelling
teaching
children
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
financial literacy because by saving up a little bit children can get a lot of
money
.
For instance
, adding by 1 dollar every day there will be
for
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apply
show examples
about 90 dollars in three months.
Also
, hoarding for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
is a good idea if
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
earnings
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
too low especially
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
is important for poor humans. Saving
money
for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
will help them purposely spend their
money
.
In addition
,
this
statement has parts that I disagree with.
For example
, if people have great earnings there is no need to save them because
thay
Correct your spelling
they
can buy it immediately and it will be their own choice should they hoard
money
or not. In
this
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
it is not so important as that with poor
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. In conclusion, there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
no disadvantage
of
Change preposition
to
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collecting cash. I agree with
this
statement because
poeples
Correct your spelling
people
peoples
especially young ones really need to
hoarding
Change the verb
hoard
show examples
cash for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
for their own purpose. It will help them to become more financially literate and become rich.
Submitted by oglanbek.b08 on

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language
Improve grammatical accuracy by refining sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
task achievement
Develop more specific examples to illustrate the points made, providing clear evidence to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Structure paragraphs with clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph logically flows from one to the next.
task achievement
Addresses the task by discussing multiple perspectives related to saving money.
coherence and cohesion
Demonstrates a good effort to conclude the essay with a summary of the points discussed.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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