It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is significantly important that the old and young part of society should save
money
for their
future
expenses. On the one hand saving
money
is important because
people
can lose their jobs.
On the other hand
,
people
do not need to hoard
money
if their earnings are a lot. I agree with the point of view which states about keeping
money
for
future
and there is a reason why I think so. I agree, that saving
money
is an important part of teaching children financial literacy because by saving up a little bit children can get a lot of
money
.
For instance
, adding by 1 dollar every day there will be about 90 dollars in three months.
Also
, hoarding for the
future
is a good idea if
people
's earnings are too low especially if it is important for poor humans. Saving
money
for the
future
will help them purposely spend their
money
.
In addition
,
this
statement has parts that I disagree with.
For example
, if
people
have great earnings there is no need to save them because they can buy it immediately and it will be their own choice should they hoard
money
or not. In
this
situation, it is not so important as that with poor
people
. In conclusion, there is no disadvantage to collecting cash. I agree with
this
statement because
people
especially young ones really need to hoard cash for the
future
for their own purposes. It will help them to become more financially literate and become rich.
Submitted by oglanbek.b08 on

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task achievement
For a clear and comprehensive response, ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported with relevant examples and explanations. For example, explain why savings are crucial for emergencies or long-term goals.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument. Additionally, each supporting point should be logically connected to the main thesis of the essay.
task achievement
The essay has a clear position and touches on both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps structure the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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