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Band 7.5

Many people use distance-learning program to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #program #study #home #college #university
Most individuals stay in and stay at home by distance learning, though a part of them opine that it does not benefit them as much as attending college or university. I side with learning online and discuss its merits and demerits in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, we are witnessing unprecedented technological advancements in the current decade, so learning is not as hard as past.
Due to
 these changes, each of us is computer literate and socializes with people around the world and in
this
 modern era, managing time is a challenging issue. There are many online courses that solve
this
 matter and remove the cost and hardships of commuting.
Moreover
, the institutes are not forced to prepare cutting-edge equipment and tools and
as a result
, their expenses would decrease significantly.
In addition
, the process of monitoring pupils in comparison to traditional learning would be easier.
In other words
, every teacher has access to monitoring tools and can assess learners much easier from the comfort of his/her home .
For instance
, they have access to software to adjust fonts, colours, styles and so on.
However
, some students misuse these conditions, what I mean is that there are pupils who only submit for courses just to get a certificate without learning any practical skills.
For example
, they sleep at the table or only record the teacher's voice and do not write notes or send the assignments by cheating,
consequently
, they only get certificates without any progress.
To sum up
, it can be reiterated that online courses are much better than traditional learning at colleges or universities in terms of costs and convenience, but some actions are needed to assess learners properly.
Submitted by amini.parastoo on

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task achievement
Work on providing more clear and comprehensive ideas. While the essay presents a number of valid points, some ideas could be expanded upon for greater clarity and depth.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to strengthen arguments. The examples provided are somewhat general and could be more directly tied to the points being made.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structure with clearer transitions between ideas. Although the arguments are logical, smoother transitions would improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a clear introduction and a comprehensive conclusion, which help in framing the topic well.
task achievement
Relevant points are addressed. The discussion touches on both merits and demerits of distance learning, providing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Flexibility: the quality of being adaptable or variable.
  • - Convenience: the state of being able to do something easily with little effort and no trouble.
  • - Geographical barriers: physical or political boundaries that separate locations, making communication and travel difficult.
  • - Accessibility: easy to approach, reach, enter, speak with, or use; obtainable.
  • - Affordability: the state of being cheap enough for people to be able to buy.
  • - Self-discipline: the ability to control one's feelings and overcome one's weaknesses.
  • - Time management: the process of planning and exercising conscious control over the amount of time spent on specific activities.
  • - Social interaction: the process by which we act and react to those around us.
  • - Networking opportunities: chances to meet people who might be useful to know, especially in your job.
  • - Extracurricular activities: activities pursued in addition to the normal course of study.
  • - Quality of education: the standard or level of education.
  • - Rigorous: extremely thorough and accurate.
  • - Technological barriers: obstacles related to technology that prevent people from accomplishing a task.
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