Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?
It is becoming a trend that recent generations prefer to
taking
a job or Wrong verb form
take
pursuing
an education outside of their states. The potential of international Wrong verb form
pursue
relation
is Fix the agreement mistake
relations
mainly
reason for Rephrase
the main
this
phenomenon and I personally believe that it is a burden condition that need
to be solved.
People who decide to make a living or study abroad tend to expect more knowledge and larger relations to be claimed. As individuals meet new people in the other environment, it leads them to adapt and gain different perspectives that could be useful. In Change the verb form
needs
additional
, developing Replace the word
addition
countries
usually provide more complete facilities for their citizens. For example
, Indonesian diasporas study in Correct article usage
the Netherland
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
due to
a specific laboratory availability that only exists there. Owing to this
, the students succeeded to do
the research for their thesis. Change preposition
in doing
As a result
, it generates a generation with the
new point of view that Correct article usage
a
ready
to be applied in the initial Add a missing verb
is ready
countries
.
On the other side, as the students decide not to come back, it will be such
a burden to the countries
that left
behind. Add a missing verb
are left
The human
Correct article usage
Human
resource
is a critical factor for building a better nation, Fix the agreement mistake
resources
thus
, it is essential to ensure the
scholars who study abroad go home to the state. Correct your spelling
that
Otherwise
, the country will face lack
of an adequate human resource in the long term. and making it Correct article usage
a lack
stays
an Correct subject-verb agreement
stay
underdeveloping
state. Replace the word
underdeveloped
For instance
, Indonesia applys
a rule that if its diasporas do not come back, they will receive a punishment. Correct your spelling
applies
apply
As a result
, many scholars from foreign countries
go home in order to build the nation.
In conclusion, by studying abroad, young people expect to foster new insights, and it seems to be that it is kind of a negative movement in terms of human resources lack potential, especially for underdeveloping
Replace the word
underdeveloped
countries
.Submitted by chocolate10
on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate further on the points you mention. For instance, include more specific reasons or examples about how studying abroad leads to different perspectives and knowledge.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitional phrases and cohesiveness between your paragraphs so that the essay flows more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the ideas are clearly linked together and do not seem disjointed. Try using more varied linking words and phrases.
language accuracy
Avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve clarity. For instance, 'taking a job' should be 'take a job' and 'a burden condition' should be 'a burdensome condition'.
task achievement
The essay does address both the causes of the phenomenon and whether it is a positive or negative situation, which completes the task achievement requirement adequately.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, guiding the reader through the essay effectively.
task achievement
There are relevant examples, such as the Indonesian students studying in the Netherlands, that help to support the points made.