In the future, nobody wiil buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
A lot of millennials believe that printed
form
of media and Fix the agreement mistake
forms
books
will be completely replaced by the digital world since nobody will buy that
. I partially agree with the statement Correct pronoun usage
them
as
Change preposition
that
books
can be preserved for years while
digital media can become inaccessible at any time. I will shed some light on both views and put forward my opinion on this
matter.
To begin
with, due to
advancement
in technology and easy access people prefer to read in digital mode. Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
According to
the
recent survey, college students are inclined towards online Correct article usage
a
books
as they come handy
and can be accessed anytime. Change preposition
in handy
Therefore
, sale
of physical Correct article usage
the sale
books
has dropped dramatically, as readers believe they have more flexibility in organising content on the gadget rather than carrying books
in hand. Moreover
, an individual can carry numerous books
in the gadget while
on the go instead
of choosing a
one.
Explaining Correct article usage
apply
further
, another school of thought belongs to developing countries where illiteracy
rate is high. There are several reasons that Add an article
the illiteracy
books
can never be replaced in these areas. Firstly
, masses
are not comfortable with Correct article usage
the masses
the
digital devices. Correct article usage
apply
Secondly
, people from deprived societies cannot afford digital gadgets but they can learn from the
Correct article usage
apply
second hand
Add a hyphen
second-hand
books
which can easily be circulated through various sources. Lastly
and importantly, books
can be retained for years however
, data can become corrupt and lost at any given time.
In conclusion, I would argue that,
Remove the comma
apply
books
can never be fully replaced by the technology as major population of the
economically disadvantaged society relies on Correct article usage
apply
the
physical Correct article usage
apply
books
, due to
lack
of resources, even though technology has made content accessible to Correct article usage
a lack
other part
of Change the wording
another part
other parts
the
society.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the counterarguments more explicitly in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples or data to support your points, which would make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical transitions between paragraphs. This will help in making your argument more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and presents the main argument effectively, setting the stage for the rest of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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