Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on TV or reading about them in the newspapers. What is the reason for this? Is it a good idea to copy famous personalities?
In
this
modern era, while
social media is taking over all
the world, influencers and Correct determiner usage
apply
idols
have more impact on viewers' personalities. Some individuals tend to intimate famous lifestyle
by following them on broadcast or newspaper. Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
This
essay will discuss the causes and the disadvantages and advantages of this
situations
.
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
Firstly
, there is no doubt that most if not all of the famous influencers and idols
on social media are successul
Correct your spelling
successful
on
their specific field. Change preposition
in
Therefore
, the viewers who also
want to have an achievement on
their life will follow the famous people that they know. Change preposition
in
For example
, according to
New
York Times, autobiography is the best seller type of Correct article usage
the New
books
from 2020 to 2024. It is Fix the agreement mistake
book
a prove
that readers would like to follow celebrities and copy their characteristics so that they can be as Verb problem
proof
succeed
as their Replace the word
successful
idols
.
From my point of view, following characteristics
of celebrities is a good way to Correct article usage
the characteristics
widespead
Correct your spelling
widespread
well-behavior
to ordinary people. Change the spelling
well-behaviour
Combining
with the ability of propaganda, well-behaved Wrong verb form
Combined
characteristic
would be intimated by ordinary people, and Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
then
the society would become better.
However
, it is clear to see that not all of the idols
are well-behaved. Regarding the youth who have not had ethical standard
yet, they could be impacted Fix the agreement mistake
standards
from
the infamous influencers. Change preposition
by
For instance
, after Diddy, who is well-knowned
as a rapper and a producer, was arrested in May 2024 Correct your spelling
well-known
due to
being a drug dealer and a raper, some fans still try to protect him by providing fake information.
To conclude
, certain individuals copy their idols
seen on different social networks as a way of making funds for a living since most of them are not working. This
is not a bad move because they make clean cash. These and other issues are discussed above at length.Submitted by buihuuminh99 on
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task achievement
The essay does address the question and provides relevant points, but it could be more fully developed. Consider expanding on the reasons why people imitate famous personalities and discuss both the positive and negative aspects in greater detail to enhance your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the logical flow can be improved with smoother transitions between ideas. For example, instead of jumping from one idea to another, use appropriate linking phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more cohesively.
organization
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide a structured response.
relevant examples
You've included relevant examples, such as the New York Times and Diddy's case, which help to support your arguments.
balanced perspective
Your attempt to address both sides of the argument (the advantages and disadvantages of copying famous personalities) is commendable and fits well within the scope of the essay prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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