Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many
matters
in the world
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are considered as emergencies and extensive in scale.
While
some people believed that these issues must be solved hand in hand internationally, many serious challenges were solely relying on
relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
local authorities to react rapidly at a domestic scale.
This
paper aims to assess different facts and
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspectives
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and provide personal insights regarding the statement. In the increasingly globalised world,
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
amount of people believe that problems are often
inter-related
Correct your spelling
interrelated
show examples
between
countries
.
For instance
, the excessive emission of greenhouse gas from one country will trigger other
countries
to suffer from the potential flooding events
due to
sea level rise. Knowing the fact that all
countries
share the same planet, governments often came
together with
plans and
agreement
Fix the agreement mistake
agreements
show examples
initiated where most nations were keen to act on, in order to solve
matters
like Global Warming in a cooperative manner.
While
it
is appeared
Change to the active voice
appears
has appeared
show examples
to be effective
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
issues mutually by different
countries
, it could be problematic for some
matters
to be raised
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a global level.
Firstly
, to power global
cooperation
many international diplomatic frameworks,
such
as the International Law and the United Nations, were set to preserve the interests of all
countries
. Within these systems, leaders from different
countries
must spend an extensive amount of time to negotiate and bring a conclusion. If an urgent situation
such
as a bushfire event broke out within a country, I
am suspecting
Wrong verb form
suspect
show examples
that the most efficient way is to coordinate with
domesitc authorites
Correct your spelling
domestic authorities
to eliminate the hazard without spending efforts on other
unecessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
necessary
international procedures.
Secondly
, not all
countries
were keen and enthusiastic to manage their affairs through
cooperation
.
For example
, in the Ukrain-Russia war in 2022,
dispite
Correct your spelling
despite
heavy sanction has been
immplemented
Correct your spelling
implemented
Russian
dictatiors
Correct your spelling
dictators
have not just been reluctant to withdraw troops from invasion, but
also
threathened
Correct your spelling
threatened
other
countries
in the world with
nuclear
Add an article
a nuclear
show examples
weapon
Fix the agreement mistake
weapons
show examples
if they
are insisting
Wrong verb form
insisted
show examples
to provide
Change preposition
on providing
show examples
support to Ukraine.
Base
Wrong verb form
Based
show examples
on
this
, I am certain that not all urgent situations can be irrationally raised to the international level with
cooperation
being forced. All in all, international
cooperation
can often prove to be an ideal solution to solve different
matters
, yet
this
method of problem resolution
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not always essential and efficient in some affairs and conflicts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a local scale. In my point of view, governments should be sensitive in considering different plans and consequences associated, in order to identify
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
ways to overcome challenges.
Submitted by 788seal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Positive
Your essay provides a well-rounded response to the topic, with both sides of the argument discussed. However, some points could be elaborated further for clarity.
General
Be careful with minor spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'relavent', 'domesitc', 'dispite'). These small mistakes can impact the overall readability of your essay.
Positive
Try to integrate more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
Positive
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your structure is generally good, some links between ideas could be clearer.
Positive
You've provided a balanced discussion, which is essential for a strong task response and overall coherence.
Task Achievement
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, offering a clear start and a well-rounded end.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are generally supported, though could benefit from further detail.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: