Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
It is often said that the government should spend some budget for the development of the country on the railways more than
roads
. I agree with this
statement because train tracks has
more benefits Change the verb form
have
services
for Correct word choice
and services
large scale
populations.
Add a hyphen
large-scale
To begin
with, let's take a look at the factor why railways have more benefits than roads
. Nowadays, several people
have a
personal cars and these reasons have an impact on Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
environment
. Add an article
the environment
Due to
the fact that cars or even the process of building roads
causes
a lot of pollution Change the verb form
cause
moreover
, it has many affected people
in that area if some area where roads
are being built. Meanwhile, instituting the railway has advantages than
in the reasons of sustainability and lifetime that more valuable than.
Change preposition
apply
In addition
, railways are generally more sustainable and have a lower environmental footprint compared to roads
. As they can move great quantities of population and goods more efficiently.Furthermore
, it less pollution in view of the fact that the trend of eco-friendly is awareness in society today if governments can do this
project they can have advertising with this
trend as well.
Other than that, it can be a soft power that makes income for the the
country. Remove the redundancy
apply
For example
, in Japan
a lot of tourists go to Japan because of the trains that have Add a comma
Japan,
a
cartoon Correct article usage
apply
character
as Hello Fix the agreement mistake
characters such
kitty
, Doraemon and Picacho Capitalize word
Kitty
the
famous character from Japan. So when Correct article usage
a
trouist
come to see Correct your spelling
tourist
tourists
this
train with their own eyes and post it on any social it can be the
advertisement without any Correct article usage
an
paid
and have several Replace the word
pay
people
interested with
it.
Change preposition
in
To sum up
, train tracks have many advantages because it is more efficient in use and environmentally friendly than building roads
that cause problems affecting people
rather than creating benefits and can promote the country in
the same time.Change preposition
at
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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases. For instance, instead of repeating 'more benefits,' you can use synonyms or rephrase for variety.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there are no grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Consider having someone proofread your essay or use a grammar checking tool for better accuracy.
task achievement
Provide more robust support for each argument. Make sure each point is elaborated upon with strong examples or explanations to add depth to your arguments. This will enhance the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Use more topic-specific vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. Mix in both academic and casual expressions to diversify your language use.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the writer's viewpoint and succinctly sets the stage for the arguments that follow.
supported main points
The essay provides specific, relevant examples that effectively support the main points, such as the example of Japan's themed trains drawing tourism.