ĐỀ 1: In many counties, more and more people are staying at home to look after their children when women work full time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, in many countries and some cultures, working outside the house is a tabu for women and they believe
mothers
should only take care of children
and Correct article usage
the householding
householding
. Most of these beliefs came from developing countries and third-world nations. Correct your spelling
household
However
, it is totally usual that
a woman Correct word choice
for
Fix the infinitive
to works
works
in developed countries.
Taking care of Correct subject-verb agreement
work
children
is an important role for parents and they should manage it properly. Working full time
might be a barrier for some parents and they might come up with Add a hyphen
full-time
lack
of time. Apart from that, in most cases, Correct article usage
a lack
mothers
are better in case of looking after children
. On the other hand
, caring to
much might lead to spoiling Replace the word
too
children
. So, there should be a balance.
Usually, mothers
want to do their best and do not miss a point in the process of nurturing when their child is an infant or a toddler. Hence
, they should dedicate a good amount of their time spending
with their child. We can not decide whether it is a positive or negative development in a general sense. But, staying at home could improve Change preposition
to spending
the
society in the long term because Correct article usage
apply
children
that
have been well nurtured will increase Correct pronoun usage
who
the
level of self-confidence in the future society and in Change the word
their
this
circumstance, they will address many probelms
in their country.
All in all, balancing is the key point for being able to manage these two important factors. Correct your spelling
problems
Besides
that, the capacity of mothers
for handling
these pressures is another factor. Visiting a good Change preposition
to handle
psycologist
may help with mental pressures. But for the physical one, they should lower their activities immediately.Correct your spelling
psychologist
Submitted by aneizehbaz on
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task response
The essay introduces the topic and covers important points, but it could have a stronger thesis statement to clearly state the opinion on whether this development is positive or negative.
task response
Add more specific examples to support the points made. For instance, real-life situations or studies could be mentioned to strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and reducing minor grammatical errors to make the essay more cohesive and easier to read. For instance, phrases like "taking care of children is an important role" can be rephrased to "Taking care of children is an important responsibility."
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Sometimes the flow of ideas is interrupted, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument.
task response
The essay makes clear points about the cultural perspectives on women working and child-rearing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the essay's main points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.