Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternatives medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
These days, many individuals with
health
issues choose to go to another
treatments and medicines Correct quantifier usage
other
instead
of to hospital
. Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
This
essay believes that these activities will have negative impacts such
as resulting to
another or even more Change preposition
in
health
problems and may lead to an
Correct article usage
apply
unnecesarry
expenses.
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
To begin
with, trying new ways to get healed instead
of going to the doctor, may results
Change the verb form
result
to
Change preposition
in
a
more serious Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
health
problems. The reason behind this
is because the places that they pay for an
alternative treatments or medicines are likely not Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
creditable
and fake. Correct word choice
credible
This
means that these practices are not conducted by professionals with real degrees. In addition
, when they claimed
to heal the patient, there is a possibility that these people do not have the knowledge Wrong verb form
claim
that is
required to give right
treatment. Add an article
the right
For instance
, there have been numerous cases that patients who went to any medical and treatment places with vague credibility instead
of the hospital came
back with more illnesses.
Regarding the first point that Correct word choice
and came
this
essay mentions, it has a connection to the second point, which is unnecesarry
expenses. When patients try different alternatives, it is predictable that what they are doing is just a waste of money. Correct your spelling
unnecessary
This
is because most of the places that offer them a service will charged
an expensive fine. Wrong verb form
charge
For example
, there are a lot of fake doctors in
social media with higher Change preposition
on
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
compares
to actual doctors in Wrong verb form
compared
hospital
.
In conclusion, people who Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
felt
sick should not go to any other rehabilitation Wrong verb form
feel
besides
hospital. This
is because they will only waste their money to
people who act like doctors and Change preposition
on
most
likely to come back home with more Add a missing verb
are most
health
issues.Submitted by ethia.oktaviani on
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clarity
Consider rephrasing sentences to clarify your points and make your ideas more precise. For example, instead of 'many individuals with health issues choose to go to another treatments and medicines,' you might say 'many individuals with health issues are opting for alternative treatments and medicines.'
language
Check for language errors and ensure grammatical accuracy. For instance, 'results to' should be 'results in,' and 'unecesarry' should be 'unnecessary.'
content
Incorporate more specific details and examples to provide concrete evidence for your claims. For instance, add data or well-known scenarios where alternative treatments have led to significant issues.
structure
The introduction clearly states the essay's main argument and outlines the structure of the discussion.
coherence
The essay logically addresses two main points, maintaining a clear focus throughout.
closure
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear final statement on the writer's position.