Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternatives medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

These days, many individuals with
health
issues choose to go to
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
treatments and medicines
instead
of to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
.
This
essay believes that these activities will have negative impacts
such
as resulting
to
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in
show examples
another or even more
health
problems and may lead to
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unnecesarry
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
expenses.
To begin
with, trying new ways to get healed
instead
of going to the doctor, may
results
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result
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
more serious
health
problems. The reason behind
this
is because the places that they pay for
an
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apply
show examples
alternative treatments or medicines are likely not
creditable
Correct word choice
credible
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and fake.
This
means that these practices are not conducted by professionals with real degrees.
In addition
, when they
claimed
Wrong verb form
claim
show examples
to heal the patient, there is a possibility that these people do not have the knowledge
that is
required to give
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
treatment.
For instance
, there have been numerous cases that patients who went to any medical and treatment places with vague credibility
instead
of the hospital
came
Correct word choice
and came
show examples
back with more illnesses. Regarding the first point that
this
essay mentions, it has a connection to the second point, which is
unnecesarry
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
expenses. When patients try different alternatives, it is predictable that what they are doing is just a waste of money.
This
is because most of the places that offer them a service will
charged
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charge
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an expensive fine.
For example
, there are a lot of fake doctors
in
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on
show examples
social media with higher
price
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prices
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compares
Wrong verb form
compared
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to actual doctors in
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
. In conclusion, people who
felt
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feel
show examples
sick should not go to any other rehabilitation
besides
hospital.
This
is because they will only waste their money
to
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on
show examples
people who act like doctors and
most
Add a missing verb
are most
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likely to come back home with more
health
issues.
Submitted by ethia.oktaviani on

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clarity
Consider rephrasing sentences to clarify your points and make your ideas more precise. For example, instead of 'many individuals with health issues choose to go to another treatments and medicines,' you might say 'many individuals with health issues are opting for alternative treatments and medicines.'
language
Check for language errors and ensure grammatical accuracy. For instance, 'results to' should be 'results in,' and 'unecesarry' should be 'unnecessary.'
content
Incorporate more specific details and examples to provide concrete evidence for your claims. For instance, add data or well-known scenarios where alternative treatments have led to significant issues.
structure
The introduction clearly states the essay's main argument and outlines the structure of the discussion.
coherence
The essay logically addresses two main points, maintaining a clear focus throughout.
closure
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear final statement on the writer's position.
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