IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

climate change is the biggest threat facing humanity today and in order to survive as a species we need to act now. to what extent do you agree or disagree

#climate #change #threat #humanity #species #act
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Everyone knows that
climate
change
 will cause relevant problems and difficulties for
the
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nature, individuals and
the
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society. Some
people
 even argue that our species will become extinct
due to
 the consequences of
climate
change
, if we don’t do anything against it. I agree with
this
 opinion and
this
 essay will outline the arguments why. With changing
climate
, particularly with the warmer
temperatures
,
the
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humanity will face the problem of glacier melting.
This
 will lead to higher water levels of the ocean, resulting in less land and
reduction
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a reduction
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 of viable space for the
people
 on our planet. Many
people
 will have to leave their houses and move to different regions on higher levels above the sea
,
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 because their homes will get flooded.
As a consequence
, there will be not enough space for all the
people
 on
this
 reduced area of land. Another big problem of
the
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climate
change
 is that farming and planting of food will be much more difficult, as the
temperatures
 are rising worldwide, leading to a
change
 in the soils and less water supply.
Additionally
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Additionally,
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 with
the
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climate
change
Add a comma
change,
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 we will face more extreme weather conditions like storms, overfloods, heavy rains and really hot
temperatures
.
As a result
, the harvest of
nutrition
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nutritious
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 plants like corn or wheat will decrease leading to food deficiency for all the humans living on our planet. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 I agree with the statement that we must act against
the
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climate
change
 in order not to die out as a species of humans because
climate
change
 will lead to rising water levels and higher
temperatures
, leading to less
growing
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growth
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 of nutrition plants and with that causing a lack of food for everyone, leading to starvation.
Submitted by nadja_stenz on

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task achievement
While the essay thoroughly covers the main points, some areas could benefit from additional specific examples or data to further substantiate your claims. Consider including statistics or case studies for greater impact.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion. Nonetheless, try to enhance the transitions and coherence between different arguments. This would result in a smoother flow and better readability.
structure
The essay has a well-defined structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
The key points regarding the threats posed by climate change, such as glacier melting and food production challenges, are effectively addressed and supported.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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