IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in the whole world and in different parts of the world.

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in the whole world and in different parts of the world.
#bar #information #percentage #population #areas #world #parts
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the percentage of the population living in civil areas in different parts of the world.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the population
lives
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North
America
Use synonyms
 and Latin
America
Use synonyms
 during the years.
While
Linking Words
 the
manority
Correct your spelling
majority
minority
 of people
lives
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Asia and Africa. The increase was stable in the all different continents in the
last
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
 compared
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the first
period
Use synonyms
. In the
1950
Correct your spelling
1950s
, around 64% of people
Use synonyms
lives
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 in North
America
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
half of them
lives
Use synonyms
 in Europe.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, just a quarter of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
lives
Use synonyms
 in Africa
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the same
period
Use synonyms
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2015 and 2050, the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all continents
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 similar. just a little increase between the two years in the same category. North
Use synonyms
America
Change noun form
America's
show examples
countinue
Correct your spelling
number
 went up throughout the given
period
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Latin
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
remain one of the most populous continents after North
America
Use synonyms
While
Linking Words
, Africa and
Aisa
Correct your spelling
Asia
show examples
 remained the least populated during the
period
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words lives, america, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • percentage
  • population
  • regions
  • trends
  • global
  • increase/decrease
  • patterns
  • compare/contrast
  • noteworthy
  • industrialization
  • economic factors
  • migration
  • government policies
  • bar chart illustrates
  • overall trend
  • noticeable
  • particularly
  • summarize
  • highlight
What to do next:
Look at other essays: