Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is argued that
music
is a nice method for bringing individuals of different cultural backgrounds and ages together. I strongly agree with the idea because tunes
are timeless and are able to prompt people
to learn about other cultures.
While
certain music
is made in a specific era, music
can be enjoyed by a lot
of people
regardless of their ages. With the advancement of recording technology, most modern music
is able to be listened by
anyone. Even though everyone has their own taste in Change preposition
to by
music
, some music
can be enjoyed by both young and old people
. For example
, classical music
has a lot
of listeners across age groups. Therefore
, it is common to see a classical music
concert attended by young generations and elderly people
.
Furthermore
, listening to tunes
is beneficial for introducing a culture
. The development of the internet allows many people
from different cultures to share their tunes
online. Because each culture
has its own tunes
, a lot
of people
are trying to listen to tunes
from other cultures and learn them. For instance
, the boom of K-pop music
and artists, such
as BTS and Blackpink makes a lot
of people
from all over the world learn about Korean culture
and language. Thus
, tunes
can be seen as a medium for cultural exchange.
To conclude
, I strongly agree with the idea that music
can be seen as a fine way for bringing
Change preposition
to bring
people
of different cultural identities and age groups together because music
is enjoyed by people
of all ages and can be beneficial for introducing a culture
to the world.Submitted by aribawadzaki on
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task achievement
Your ideas are generally well-supported with examples, but there are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Focus on improving the fluency and accuracy of your sentences.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding more varied sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and sophisticated.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your main points.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.