In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages
It is believed that nowadays
people
live longer compared to the past, which leads to an increasing elderly population
in many countries. Whereas
some people
consider an ageing population
to have some benefits, I strongly agree with those who believe that it has potential drawbacks for two main reasons.
On the one hand, the ageing population
will bring a positive perception towards the government
. The longer people
live, it higher the life expectancy number
of the population
. In other words
, the government
has the capacity and competency to look out for its citizens. The high number
of elderly population
will push the government
to provide a proper healthcare infrastructure. For instance
, a country without a proper healthcare system, will not have a large number
of elderly people
which indicates the country's inability to do their responsibility.
In contrast
, if a country has more elderly people
, there will be an increasing ratio of dependency. Elder people
are usually unproductive, and they are mostly almost retired or even no longer able to work. Therefore
, they may not be able to fulfil their basic needs and the government
must take over the responsibility. As a result
, the government
must pay more benefits, such
as health care and pensions, to people
who often no longer have the ability to contribute to the economy. Secondly
, elder people
are more reluctant to any kind of disease. Although
many people
live longer, they usually spend more years on disability because of health issues. With a lower immune system, a disease may spread faster and impact the whole community. For example
, when COVID-19 was spreading, it was the elderly people
who were impacted the most since it led to a
complex health issues, causing a high Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
number
of deaths.
In conclusion, although
the high number
of elderly people
indicates a high life expectancy and may be the reason why a proper healthcare infrastructure is built, it has also
increased the dependency ratio and created extra spending for the government
. Therefore
, I believe that the advantages of having more ageing population
are outweighed by the disadvantages.Submitted by averinasandra on
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position and generally covers the requirements of the task, but it could be improved by addressing counterarguments more thoroughly.
task achievement
Ensure that all points are well supported with relevant and specific examples. One of the examples provided (COVID-19) is good, but more concrete examples would strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing smoother transitions between paragraphs. This will help with the overall flow of your essay and make it easier to read.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid minor errors in grammar and punctuation. These small mistakes can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider linking sentences within paragraphs more effectively to build a stronger logical structure. This will help in clearly outlining your points and supporting them.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and sets up the arguments well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure, with distinct paragraphs each addressing different points related to the topic.
supported main points
The essay provides some good examples, particularly the reference to COVID-19, which helps to clarify the points being made.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...