In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages
It is believed that nowadays
people
live longer compared to the past, which leads to an increasing elderly Use synonyms
population
in many countries. Use synonyms
Whereas
some Linking Words
people
consider an ageing Use synonyms
population
to have some benefits, I strongly agree with those who believe that it has potential drawbacks for two main reasons.
On the one hand, the ageing Use synonyms
population
will bring a positive perception towards the Use synonyms
government
. The longer Use synonyms
people
live, it higher the life expectancy Use synonyms
number
of the Use synonyms
population
. Use synonyms
In other words
, the Linking Words
government
has the capacity and competency to look out for its citizens. The high Use synonyms
number
of elderly Use synonyms
population
will push the Use synonyms
government
to provide a proper healthcare infrastructure. Use synonyms
For instance
, a country without a proper healthcare system, will not have a large Linking Words
number
of elderly Use synonyms
people
which indicates the country's inability to do their responsibility.
Use synonyms
In contrast
, if a country has more elderly Linking Words
people
, there will be an increasing ratio of dependency. Elder Use synonyms
people
are usually unproductive, and they are mostly almost retired or even no longer able to work. Use synonyms
Therefore
, they may not be able to fulfil their basic needs and the Linking Words
government
must take over the responsibility. Use synonyms
As a result
, the Linking Words
government
must pay more benefits, Use synonyms
such
as health care and pensions, to Linking Words
people
who often no longer have the ability to contribute to the economy. Use synonyms
Secondly
, elder Linking Words
people
are more reluctant to any kind of disease. Use synonyms
Although
many Linking Words
people
live longer, they usually spend more years on disability because of health issues. With a lower immune system, a disease may spread faster and impact the whole community. Use synonyms
For example
, when COVID-19 was spreading, it was the elderly Linking Words
people
who were impacted the most since it led to Use synonyms
a
complex health issues, causing a high Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
number
of deaths.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
the high Linking Words
number
of elderly Use synonyms
people
indicates a high life expectancy and may be the reason why a proper healthcare infrastructure is built, it has Use synonyms
also
increased the dependency ratio and created extra spending for the Linking Words
government
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I believe that the advantages of having more ageing Linking Words
population
are outweighed by the disadvantages.Use synonyms
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position and generally covers the requirements of the task, but it could be improved by addressing counterarguments more thoroughly.
task achievement
Ensure that all points are well supported with relevant and specific examples. One of the examples provided (COVID-19) is good, but more concrete examples would strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing smoother transitions between paragraphs. This will help with the overall flow of your essay and make it easier to read.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid minor errors in grammar and punctuation. These small mistakes can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider linking sentences within paragraphs more effectively to build a stronger logical structure. This will help in clearly outlining your points and supporting them.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and sets up the arguments well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure, with distinct paragraphs each addressing different points related to the topic.
supported main points
The essay provides some good examples, particularly the reference to COVID-19, which helps to clarify the points being made.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...