Some people say History is one of the most important schoool subjects. Othert people think that, in todays world, subjects like Science and technolog are most important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Whether nowadays should learn past or other
subjects
like science and automation is a debatable discussion point worth considering.
It is vital to understand that the past has become an important subject that every student needs to learn at their school. past is considered a subject relative to every country. It shows us all about what our ancestors underwent in the past. As a result
, if students learn past, they will have different eyes about their countries in order to try their best to maintain the development of their countries.
By contrast
, in today's world, there are many public who think that learning subjects
like science and technology are much more important than history. To put it simply, it can be easily observed that in the 4.0 era, automation is becoming more popular with everyone. They think that learning these subjects
can help them to gain more opportunities in looking for a good job that leads to high salaries. Additionally
, the mindset of the community today is quite different from what it was in the past. Almost all people think that learning past is so boring that they choose science and automation as subjects
that interest them. Therefore
, more and more communities nowadays tend to learn the subjects
that are popular in their generation instead
of choosing history.
In conclusion, every subject must have its features and be suitable for certain people. It should have been noted that people should balance the subjects
they learn in order to gain the best goals and achieve their own ambitions in these subjects
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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General
To improve overall coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows logically to the next. Transitional phrases such as 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In addition' can help.
Coherence and Cohesion
Better organization and development of points would make the essay more coherent. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next with logical connectors.
Task Achievement
While the essay answers the question, it lacks specific examples that would support the points being made. Including more details or case studies could be beneficial.
Task Achievement
Try to balance the discussion on history and science/technology more evenly. This will ensure a well-rounded response.
Language Use
Correct some language errors and improve word choice for clarity and precision. For instance, 'past' should be replaced with 'history,' and 'public' should be 'people.'
General
The essay addresses both views effectively and provides a balanced perspective.
Task Achievement
The conclusion sums up the essay well, reinforcing the idea that a balance of subjects is essential.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the debate and sets up the discussion well, providing a good starting point for the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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