Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Without a shadow of a doubt, the current century is the era of
data
and communication. A group of people put
this
idea forward that sharing significant
information
is good for researching areas
such
as science, enterprise, and scholastic,
while
others disagree saying profitable knowledge should be free and available for all
pubic
Correct your spelling
public
show examples
. Both schools of thought,
due to
prominent
Correct article usage
the prominent
show examples
values they carry, are apt to be taken into account. Regarding the first case, many people think distributing
data
is a good idea, and it has a big impact on life.
Firstly
, individuals can get
information
directly from researchers in every
field
, which is
also
helpful for business, science, and academic progress.
Secondly
, expanding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information
can lead to beginning
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
approach in each
field
.
This
means that a number of investigators can use new
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
to
fostering
Wrong verb form
foster
show examples
their ideas and,
finally
,
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
human problems. In fact, by working together, humanity can achieve success and welfare in all areas of life. Regarding the second viewpoint, financial support is necessary for all research, as investigators and their organizations cannot survive without it, and it's up to governments to decide how to provide it.
Utilization
Correct article usage
The utilization
show examples
of free investigation can have
Correct article usage
a strongly
show examples
strongly
Change the adverb
strong
show examples
influence on public life.
For example
, in the recent
corona-virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
pandemic, many scientists worldwide have relied on key
data
to develop new methods for halting the virus's spread. In fact, many countries participate in global research to improve public welfare and
also
receive financial assistance from other governments for these activities. In conclusion, sharing
information
is the best way to get clear
data
about every
field
. Some people think sensitive
information
should be free and accessible to each nation. Both views have pros and cons, but distributing freely is a better way than the first viewpoint, and it can lead to developing science in every
field
.
Submitted by m.rezakarami69 on

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more fully. For example, provide more detailed examples and deeper analysis to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with language and expressions, such as 'pubic' instead of 'public'. Even small errors can disrupt the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all your points are connected smoothly. Use transition words to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
You address both views and give a balanced discussion, which is good for task response.
coherence cohesion
You have some good logical structure in your main points, presenting arguments for both sides.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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