In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing . Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

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Suburban residents migration to cities is a widespread phenomenon.

This

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reduction in the rural populace comes with its fair share of advantages and downturns;

however

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, I am of the opinion that its negative impacts outweigh the benefits. Moving to urban

areas

Use synonyms

is believed to be beneficial not only to

individuals

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but

also

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to wildlife. Rural

areas

Use synonyms

usually do not have sufficient amenities needed for certain professions; thereby, moving to urban

areas

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might open doors to uncharted territories by venturing into which

individuals

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will be able to unleash their potential.

Moreover

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, human beings have extended their living

areas

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at the expense of destroying floras' and faunas' habitats.

This

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practice is usually uncontrolled in the countryside, where people are not educated enough to consider the long-term effects of their actions.

Therefore

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, poaching, ungovernable fishing, and wilful tree chopping represent a concerning issue that needs to be addressed. With the displacement of suburban residents, wildlife gets a chance to rejuvenate and lower the extinction rates. Meanwhile, migrated

individuals

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get a chance to cherish their hometown reservoirs by receiving a thorough education on pressing matters and learning the importance of controlled usage of natural resources.

However

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, the exodus from lands to cities can bring about damaging consequences both for

individuals

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and society at large. People aim to migrate in order to ameliorate their lives;

however

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, hopes for a better life are often dashed as overpopulation puts an enormous strain on the infrastructure of cities and their ability to provide basic needs. Unable to provide decent housing, inadequate education for one's children, and low quality of life in shanty towns can trigger the high mental pressure already imposed by the alienated, frantic pace of life.

This

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lack of serenity and unaccustomedness can cause irreparable repercussions,

such

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as chronic anxiety and depression.

In addition

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, Healthy,

nutrious

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nutritious

food consumption is an integral

factoral

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factor

factorial

overall

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well-being. As farmers migrate, the sheer number of workers on land will decline, and harvests and domestic animal breedings will fall

accordingly

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This

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shortage in food provision can cause famine across the country

Remove the comma

apply

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and hinders

citizens

Change noun form

citizens'

citizen's

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well-beings

Correct your spelling

well-being

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. In conclusion, the allure of urbanisation pales in the face of food shortages and mental health issues.

Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on Thu Oct 24 2024

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relevant specific examples

Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments.

supported main points

Ensure all your main points are sufficiently supported with evidence or examples.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion is well-stated.

logical structure

Your essay flows well with logical paragraphs, making it easy to follow your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

362 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing . Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

Food has become easier to prepare what changes do you think has been made as a result.

it is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. Do you agree or disagree?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using socia media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they cannot compete with multinational corporations. What problems does this cause, and how can those problems be solved?