IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
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It is argued that
newspapers
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 getting old-fashioned because of the wide-range usage of
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 claim since there are numerous
news
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 applications which can provide newsbreak immediately,
also
Linking Words
people
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prefer
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prefer to
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 keep track of
news
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by
Change preposition
on
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 their
phones
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 because they do not want to
cary
Correct your spelling
carry
newspapers
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 with them nowadays. Owing to the developments on
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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, there are several
news
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 websites and applications which can reveal
news
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 instantly,
while
Linking Words
newspapers
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 can be published once a day.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
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 use those kinds of
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internet based
Add a hyphen
internet-based
show examples
 sources rather than
newspapers
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. On account of the fact that
,
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
news papers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
show examples
 getting unnecessary and dated.
For example
Linking Words
, Ipsos conducted a global survey that highlighted there was a decrease of 70% in newspaper sales in the USA in 2020 after the
ubiquitious
Correct your spelling
ubiquitous
 digital
news
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 apps.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
people
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 can already access any up-to-date
news
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by
Change preposition
on
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 their
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internet connected
Add a hyphen
internet-connected
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 mobile
phones
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, they do not want to carry big
newspapers
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
newspapers
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 are too big and thick in Turkey, so
people
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 are not comfortable to
cary
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carry
 them
particulary
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particularly
 in public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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 and crowded places.
Instead
Linking Words
 of that, they use their mobile
phones
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 or tablets which are easy to
cary
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carry
 and can show anything that they
curious
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are curious
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 about. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay totally
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
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 with the argument
which
Correct word choice
that
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 claims
newspapers
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 are so close to
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
 extinct on account of the popularity of
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 because they cannot provide instant occurings
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
show examples
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internet based
Add a hyphen
internet-based
show examples
 sources.
Additionally
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, published items especially
newspapers
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 are hard to carry
while
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 small and light mobile
phones
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 can keep individuals posted.
Submitted by silaaltundag5 on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the impact of the internet on the popularity of newspapers. However, make sure to refine your arguments further to avoid repetition and to enhance clarity. Providing a more balanced view—perhaps including a counterargument—could demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows logically from one point to the next, but there are minor issues with sentence structure and word choice that can be improved for smoother transitions. Using more varied linking words and phrases can help to strengthen coherence. Additionally, make sure each paragraph fully supports one main idea to enhance cohesion.
grammar vocabulary
There are a number of small but noticeable errors in grammar and vocabulary that may affect the reader's understanding. Improve sentence construction and work on subject-verb agreement. Also, try to vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition and maintain reader engagement.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task by clearly stating your opinion and supporting it with relevant reasons and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, demonstrating clear structure.
grammar vocabulary
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, and you successfully use some higher-level terms and phrases.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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