•Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?

#•nowadays #people #lives #cities #government #life

In the nowadays bustling world, it is found that

liviing

Correct your spelling

living

in cities becomes increasingly

challening

Correct your spelling

challenging

in comparison with in rural

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

. From my perspective, it has some complicated reasons behind it and

government

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the government

show examples

ought to do something meaningful and useful and provide more comfortable places with citizens. First and foremost, it is obvious that our society, even the whole world, is growing significantly fast. It is not only happening in technology development

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

existing

Wrong verb form

exists

show examples

almost in every aspect

Change preposition

show examples

our daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

For instance

, some electrical

applicance

Correct your spelling

appliance

appliances

such

moblie

Correct your spelling

mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

, watch and so on. They all have a preference to update, without any break, for

using

Replace the word

use

show examples

. Under these conditions, we have no more time to familiar with something different and we have to follow the tendency without enjoyment or entertainment.

Hence

that is

the

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

reconigzed

Correct your spelling

recognized

recognize

it is getting

difficuly

Correct your spelling

difficult

to enjoy our

lives

in cities. In

addtion

Correct your spelling

addition

, with the growing population of individuals in cities, the resources afforded by

Correct article usage

the gorvenment

show examples

gorvenment

Correct your spelling

government

have left less and less, which

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

inability

Correct article usage

the inability

show examples

to enjoy their

lives

better

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to previous years.

In other words

, we have to learn how to share some common interests and learn to wait

insteading

Correct your spelling

instead

of getting directly. There is an example

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

show that,

espectally

Correct your spelling

especially

Change preposition

show examples

the festival,

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

becomes a wonderful way for people to relax or enjoy.

However

, every time they come, they will

encouter

Correct your spelling

encounter

Change the article

show examples

main problem which is lining up for tourists.

Therefore

, it will result in having a bad

experient

Replace the word

experience

show examples

about

Change preposition

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

travelling

instead

of happiness. For the government, it is

nesseary

Correct your spelling

necessary

to set up more activities for relaxation and provide a

varity

Correct your spelling

variety

of resources or

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

to people, which makes their

lives

more enjoyable.

For example

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

can establish courses

such

as singing, dancing and playing the piano,

for enriching

Change preposition

to enrich

show examples

people's

lives

and

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduce

show examples

their

Change the word

the

show examples

pressure of study or work. In that way, we have more opportunities to explore and embrace our

lives

better.

Submitted by asllchkied on Mon Sep 30 2024

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task achievement

Your essay covers the main requirements of the task, but there are several areas where it could be improved. For example, try to provide more specific examples illustrating your points, such as real-life scenarios or statistical information. This will make your argument more convincing.

task achievement

You have clear ideas in your essay, but sometimes they are not expressed as clearly as they could be due to language inaccuracies. It would be beneficial to check your writing for grammatical errors and work on sentence structure. This will make your ideas more comprehensible.

coherence cohesion

Aim for a more consistent logical flow in your essay. Each paragraph should follow naturally from the one before it, and the relationships between ideas should be clear. Consider using more linking words and phrases to achieve this.

coherence cohesion

It would be more effective if you could separate the introduction from the body of the essay with a clear thesis statement, and also ensure a distinct conclusion where you summarize the main points discussed.

task achievement

You correctly identified and addressed the question of why urban living is becoming more difficult and offered potential solutions.

coherence cohesion

You have a good range of vocabulary and attempted to use complex structures, which is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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•Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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