Some people say it is government’s responsibility to transport children to school, while others believe parents should transport their children to school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
For a long
time
, there has been a popular debate in
who has the responsibility Change preposition
about
to transport
Change preposition
of transporting
children
Change preposition
to thier
thier
Correct your spelling
their
school
. While
many people have argued children
's parents
have the inevitable role on
taking care of their kids, it could be more efficient and safe with the assistance from the government to bring students to Change preposition
in
school
. This
paper will assess information and ideas from contrasting sides while
providing some personal insights.
As people who are responsible to raise
their Change preposition
for raising
offsprings
, many Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
parents
insisted
Wrong verb form
insist
to send
their kids to Change preposition
on sending
school
by themselves. According to
a survey conducted by the
Stanford University, 40% of the Correct article usage
apply
parents
participated
have reported that taking their own responsibilities in bringing their Correct pronoun usage
who participated
children
to school
is believed to be safer compared to letting them to
take public Change the verb form
apply
transportation
. Every morning, many cars driven by parents
carrying their children
were seen on roads adjacent to schools, showing that many parents
were willing to treat this
as their responsibility.
While
it is common to precieve
Correct your spelling
perceive
receive
school
transportation
is
under Correct your spelling
as
parent's
obligation, there Correct article usage
the parent's
has
been some drawbacks to Change the verb form
have
the
society as a whole which Governments have to assist with.
Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, parents
driving their children
to school
is putting additional pressure on the existing road congestions
. In some major cities like London and Hong Kong, there are limited road infrastructures to cater Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
all
cars running smoothly during peak hours, with queues of cars commonly found in areas close to Change preposition
for all
school
campuses. Contrastingly, if goverments
can take the Correct your spelling
governments
government
responbility
to allocate point-to-point Correct your spelling
responsibility
school
bus services to students, I belive
traffic jams during Correct your spelling
believe
school
times can be reduced as less
vehicles are required to transport students.
Change the quantifier
fewer
Furthermore
, parents
can save more time
on other responsibilities if governments can take the role of bringing children
to school
. It is common for parents
spending
two hours Change the verb form
to spend
on
transporting Change preposition
apply
children
to school
that
I am convinced these hours spent are Correct word choice
apply
unncessary
if the government can help Correct your spelling
unnecessary
on
Change preposition
with
school
transport. When less time
were
spent Wrong verb form
is
by
on Change preposition
apply
children
's transportation
, parents
can be more productive at work, or other household tasks that are
Unnecessary verb
apply
contributive
to their family and Replace the word
contribute
the
society.
All in all, compared to transporting Correct article usage
apply
children
by their parents
I believed
that it is more effective in traffic and Wrong verb form
believe
parents
' time
prespectives
to have Correct your spelling
perspectives
governemnts
Correct your spelling
governments
government
stepping
in and offer Wrong verb form
step
school
transportation
. Although
it is crucial for parents
to be responsible to
their kids, it is necessary for the Change preposition
for
governemnt
to be responsible Correct your spelling
government
in
keeping Change preposition
for
the
society moving and boosting Correct article usage
apply
productivity
of all individuals.Add an article
the productivity
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coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be slightly more specific to enrich the argument. In future essays, aim to provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction and summarize the main points in the conclusion to reinforce the argument.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported, though more specific examples and statistics could improve the essay’s persuasiveness. Incorporating additional concrete data will help provide a stronger foundation for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally clear and ideas are well-articulated, attention to language accuracy would be beneficial, especially regarding grammatical and syntactical precision. Polishing these elements will enhance overall readability and professionalism.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views effectively and maintains a balanced perspective, which adds to its thoroughness and depth.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas is commendable, with each paragraph leading naturally to the next. This enhances the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction provides a succinct overview of the topic, and your conclusion effectively reinforces your opinion, thereby bookending the essay well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.