At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

#time #population #countries #adults #people

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Without a shadow of a doubt, improving financial circumstances and public health have widespread impacts on lifestyle. Nowadays, many nations have a lot of younger individuals as compared to elder people. The plus point would be the young group does hard work and enhancement of military and labour force,

while

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the minus features are they can increase consumerism and need more welfare facilities. Regarding the plus points, It is believed that there are many reasons for adults to be more hardworking and more qualified

due to

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studying in reputed institutions.

In addition

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, they learned recent technologies from universities and became skilled workers.

Moreover

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, they have less potential to sick and they can do hard work for more hours rather than old people. In fact, can be expected that every nation has more younger population as compared to other countries can lead to a growing economy rapidly. Regarding the minus points, governments should be aware that younger communities need accommodations and welfare equipment.

Firstly

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, the younger group is more consumerist than the older group,

as a result

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, they need more goods and services.

Secondly

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, by increasing of birth rate the youth of the population can expect the government face to a lack of housing.

For example

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, the government of India

due to

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the explosive growth of the population, is facing the problem of housing and shelter.

To sum up

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, following the analysis of both sides,

it is clear that

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the advantages outweigh on disadvantages because every country needs progress in their economies and well well-being of their citizens.

Further

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, younger communities have benefits for the future of each nation

such

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as the military and labour force.

Submitted by m.rezakarami69 on Mon Sep 30 2024

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task achievement

Include more specific examples to back up your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Work on transitioning between ideas and paragraphs more smoothly to improve the overall flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all points are fully developed and clearly linked to the main argument. Some ideas need more explanation and connection to the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your essay nicely.

task achievement

Your essay discusses both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced perspective.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Disposing of waste on streets has become a common problem in many countries these days. What are the cause and solutions of this issue?

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What are the causes and solutions for this issue?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What is the reason for this Is this a positive or negative development

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

besity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?