Some people believe that celebrity personal events ia a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individual and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some
people
argue that celebrities
private Change noun form
celebrities'
celebrity's
events
is
a waste of money, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
while
others see that as a
important part of society and individual lives. I agree with Change the article
an
people
who think personal
Correct article usage
the personal
events
of celebrity
play an important role these days. Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
Firstly
, celebrities
were
sharing personal Unnecessary verb
apply
events
gave their fans a new point of view. Secondly
, that can develop the economy of their country.
First of all, celebrity
have Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
crucial
effect on their fans. Add an article
a crucial
During
the years lives of Change preposition
Over
people
have changes
Change the verb form
changed
,
because Remove the comma
apply
their
follow the trends they Change the pronoun
they
are
see in Unnecessary verb
apply
celebrities
lives. Change noun form
celebrities'
celebrity's
For example
, a study at Harvard University shows that 85% of people
changes
their perspective and improve their taste in Change the verb form
change
fashon
and Correct your spelling
fashion
lifesyle
when watching Correct your spelling
lifestyle
celebrities
. Life changes
and taste changes
and celebrities
show the world how things would be.
Moreover
, the economy can develop when celebrities
share their personal events
for
Change preposition
with
people
around the world, because this
will be a great chance for local companies for advertising
their products. Change preposition
to advertise
For instance
, I bought many things just because I seen
Wrong verb form
saw
it
with Correct pronoun usage
them
celebrity
I loved. Add an article
a celebrity
Although
the companies payed
for Correct your spelling
paid
this
advertisement, but
they gain a lot of benefits. So Remove the conjunction
apply
this
can be one of the biggest benefit s
of sharing Correct your spelling
benefits
celebrities
their
personal Correct pronoun usage
apply
events
.
To sum up
, we discuss both of veiws
. In my opinion, Correct your spelling
views
celebrities
when sharing their private events
can help people
to see other options of
lifestyle and Change preposition
for
this
can make changes
in people
perspective. Change noun form
people's
Moreover
, shareing
Correct your spelling
sharing
celebrities
their
private Correct pronoun usage
apply
events
do
not Verb problem
is
waste
of money, Correct article usage
a waste
on the
contrary
Add the comma(s)
contrary,
that
can help Correct pronoun usage
it
Correct article usage
the economic
economic
to develop.Replace the word
economy
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.