IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In modern age, some people think it is unnecessary to teach children the skill of handwriting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#age #people #children #skill
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, some people argue
that is
 unnecessary to teach children handwriting. I completely disagree.
Firstly
, young people
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to learn about handwriting because
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 helps them to
developing
Change the verb form
develop
show examples
 mentally.
Secondly
, handwriting is necessary
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
doing
Change the form of the verb
do
show examples
 your business in
dailyroutin
Correct your spelling
daily routine
. First of all, developing mentally is a crucial part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 early childhood. it depends
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 many
things
, and handwriting
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
 of them. teaching
kids
 handwriting can improve thinking and concentration.
For example
, a study at Harvard University shows that
kids
 who learn handwriting
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early age have a higher IQ rather than children
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can not
writing
Wrong verb form
write
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their hands. Handwriting
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 best way to improve mental skills
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 childhood.
Moreover
, in our
Correct your spelling
daily life
dailylife
Add a comma
dailylife,
show examples
 we need to
doing
Change the verb
do
show examples
 a lot of
things
such
 as writing a paper in the bank or in the hospital, we
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
handwriting to finish all
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
things
 by
ourselfs
Correct your spelling
ourselves
show examples
.
For instance
, one time I went to the bank and the employee told me that he
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 me to write a paper
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my own, in
this
 condition handwriting is necessary. Handwriting can
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 us in many
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
.
Although
 we have many alternative ways, we need to write by our hands in many conditions.
To sum up
, I disagree with people who say we do not need to teach children the skill of handwriting.
While
Correct word choice
Kids
show examples
kids
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
earlly
Correct your spelling
early
 age
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
 their mental skills and handwriting
an
Add a missing verb
is an
show examples
 important tool to do
this
. We are exposed to many situations in our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
need
Correct word choice
and need
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
handwriting to finish
things
. That
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 why we
most
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
 teach our
kids
 handwriting.
Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Work on grammar and sentence structure to minimize errors. This will improve overall readability and coherence.
cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss. This makes the essay more compelling and easier to follow.
task response
Try to include more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your points more convincing.
task response
You have made a clear argument and provided reasons for your viewpoint. This is an essential part of meeting the task response criteria.
coherence
The essay has a generally logical structure and presents points in a coherent manner.
cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in making your essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: