IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

"Nowadays, the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Type two: type one is this alright?"

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Technology
Use synonyms
 has revolutionized every aspect of human life.
People
Use synonyms
 are experiencing the comforts of
fasted
Replace the word
fast
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
in built
Add a hyphen
in-built
show examples
 trains and in self-driven taxis and
also
Linking Words
 enjoying the quickest
communication
Use synonyms
 all around the world which has accelerated the process of creating and bonding relationships among
people
Use synonyms
. With a click or touch of a button, anyone can connect with
people
Use synonyms
 miles away, for doing business or
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just saying hello to loved ones. In my opinion, it is the most useful advantage of all
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
. Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 interact with each other via
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. There are several platforms and applications,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
 Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Zoom, and WhatsApp. These social media forums allow
people
Use synonyms
 to find like-minded
people
Use synonyms
. Individuals can search other
people
Use synonyms
’s profiles and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
observe their likes and dislikes,
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interests, professions, and can become friends with them or
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
opt for more
serious
Correct pronoun usage
serious ones
show examples
. "Relationships: Patients who are suffering from chronic diseases and unable to socialize physically can find groups of
people
Use synonyms
 online who are facing the same issues and can get some help and emotional support. Other than
this
Linking Words
, the business community is
also
Linking Words
 getting so many benefits out of
this
Linking Words
 fast
communication
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
, where individuals can join forums or like-minded groups to build their businesses. Links, which were never that easy in the past.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 swift interaction via video call or audio call, employers are able to hire
people
Use synonyms
 in distant places at lower rates. Companies are able to find capable and creative
people
Use synonyms
 from all over the world, which allows more diverse ideas for work and success. There can be some negative implications of using
communication
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if somebody,
while
Linking Words
 on vacation, uploads his social media status about it,
then
Linking Words
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 will be aware of his absence and it can be an open invitation to robbers and thieves. Considering
this
Linking Words
, one needs to be more aware and conscious about online privacy and protection. In conclusion, I would emphasize on positive outcomes of
communication
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 that made it very easy to talk to your family and friends and send them wishes and to stay aware of their well-being."

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
While the essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, it would benefit from a clearer explanation of some points. For example, the paragraph discussing the negative implications of technology could be expanded and integrated better into the essay.
task response
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and free of typos. For example, the phrase "can opt for more serious. 'Relationships: Patients'" needs revision for clarity and consistency.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect ideas smoothly. This will enhance the logical flow of your argument, making it easier for the reader to follow your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented; however, they would be stronger with a little more detail and reflection on the impact of technology on relationships.
task response
The essay addresses the task well, discussing both positive and negative impacts of technology on relationships.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and distinct, providing a strong framework for the essay.
task response
Relevant examples are provided, such as the benefits of social media platforms like Facebook and business communication through technology.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: