IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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-The bar chart shows the
rate
Use synonyms
 of divorced people by percentages in
Finland
Use synonyms
 and Sweden from 2011 to 2015. -The bar chart shows the average of divorced people in the two countries between 2011 to 2015, referring to the high
rate
Use synonyms
 of Sweden's divorced people compared with the
rate
Use synonyms
 in
Finland
Use synonyms
 which was less till 2014,
then
Linking Words
 the rates changed and the
rate
Use synonyms
 in
Finland
Use synonyms
 became higher than Sweden
rate
Use synonyms
. -The Swedish
rate
Use synonyms
 started in 2011 at over 40% and reached the maximum point in 2012 at 49%,
then
Linking Words
 gradually decreased to 36% in 2015. -
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Finland
Use synonyms
’s
rate
Use synonyms
 started in 2011 at 36%,
then
Linking Words
 declined in 2012 to 33%, not too far until increasing in 2013 to reach 40% overtaking the Swedish
rate
Use synonyms
 in 2015. -
Overall
Linking Words
, Swedish rates explained the downward trend,
while
Linking Words
Finland
Use synonyms
 explained the opposite during the period between 2011
till
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2015. Both countries’ divorce rates had some fluctuations.
however
Linking Words
,
Finland
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 had a lower
rate
Use synonyms
. -

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, finland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "explained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • divorce rates
  • fluctuate
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • trough
  • trend
  • notable
  • significant
  • substantial
  • higher
  • lower
  • comparison
  • consistent
  • vary
  • percent
  • overall
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