IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #ground #floor #library #redeveloped #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given diagram gives information about the process of creating electricity from one sort of coal. It can be seen that
this
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 procedure is a linear one which includes 7 stages Starting with mining coal from mines and ending with electrical energy for various demands. Looking
at the first stage
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, miners collect raw coal from the mine and
then
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 crush it into pieces. After that, coal is delivered to a factory. In
this
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step
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, workers purify the coal with heat to become
gas
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. In the third
step
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, the
gas
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 is cooled down in another factory and
this
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 stage releases waste
gas
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.
Moreover
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, the
gas
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 goes through a cleaning
step
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 to become totally clean. Looking at the fifth
step
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, the cleared
gas
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 is moved to a
gas
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 power plant to produce electricity but
this
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 action
also
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 creates unused
gas
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.
Finally
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, the complete electrical power is ready to be utilised for household use and industry.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider adding a concluding sentence to succinctly summarize the process.
task achievement
Develop the scope of each step in the process to further elaborate on each stage in detail. For example, explain how the purification and cooling stages specifically occur.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and systematic description of the process, making it easy to follow the steps involved.
coherence cohesion
The use of sequencing words like 'first stage', 'third step', and 'finally' enhances the logical structure of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly identifies the process and sets up the sequence of stages to be described.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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