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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Cultures around the world are becoming more similar that ever before. Why is this happening? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#cultures #world #development
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Cultures
 play a vital role in determining the
identity
 of the
country
. Some
people
 argue that
cultures
 worldwide are becoming more similar than ever before. In
this
 essay, I will present the reasons for that and in my opinion,
this
 is a bad development. On the one hand, there are many reasons why
cultures
 are becoming similar worldwide. First and foremost, because of technology
people
 can connect or learn other
cultures
 easily through the Internet, AI, smartphones, and social media like influencers
for example
, some famous
people
 teach their fans her/his language
moreover
 in how they eat and same famous foods in their
country
.
Thus
,
this
 will lead to inmates’ others easily which will result in the same
cultures
. In my personal view,
this
 will bring many negative results for the
country
.
Firstly
, the
country
 will lose its
identity
 because everyone knows about their culture
for example
 in some of the countries they wear the same dress and eat the same food which is a bad thing because it will be like one
country
.
Furthermore
, there will be few diverse
cultures
in other words
 it will lead to the weakness of the creativity of the
country
. In conclusion, there are some reasons in way becoming similar
cultures
 around the world
such
 as influencers and rabid technology. I assert that
this
 will lead to a negative impact because the
country
 will lose its
identity
 and lead to less variety of
cultures
 creatively. The government should save its
identity
 by awareness
people
 of the importance of protecting the
country
 to be a unique
country
.
Submitted by maha.wed on

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task response
Make sure to clarify your main points and support them with specific examples. For instance, you can explain how technology affects cultural similarities with more concrete examples.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of the essay. For example, linking ideas between paragraphs with transitional phrases can help improve coherence, making the essay easier to follow.
task response
Ensure that your arguments are comprehensive and detailed. For instance, you could delve deeper into how the influence of social media specifically leads to cultural similarities.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear framework for the essay and encapsulating your main points effectively.
task response
Your main idea is clearly expressed, and you effectively argue that the global similarity of cultures is a negative development for the uniqueness of countries.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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