In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?
There is an ongoing issue in many nations that
the
Correct article usage
apply
obesity
in children
is growing day by day. To cope with this
trouble, parents should encourage their offspring to eat healthy food
rather than high-calorie food
. Additionally
, the government can also
tackle with
Change preposition
apply
this
problem
by applying taxes on unhealthy food
. This
essay will examine the main reasons and possible solutions of
Change preposition
to
this
problem
.
First and foremost, the guardians of children
should provide them healthy
Change preposition
with healthy
food
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
breakfast
. Breakfast
play
a key role in maintaining a better physical Change the verb form
plays
as well as
mental health. Nowadays, it can be clearly seen that the
young Correct article usage
apply
children
are neglecting their breakfast
and enjoy
unhealthy snacks all Wrong verb form
enjoying
the
Correct article usage
apply
days
. Fix the agreement mistake
day
On the other hand
, teachers should play a vital role in giving students a knowledgeable lecture about how they can tackle with
Change preposition
apply
obesity
. For example
, schools should conduct free health check camps every month, and if they find obesity
issues in any children
, they should suggest their parents to
consult a doctor immediately.
Remove the particle
apply
Secondly
, another reason of
Change preposition
for
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
up
Change preposition
in
obesity
is soft drinks, which are cheaper than other healthier products nowadays such
as milk, bread and eggs. So, people prefer to buy affordable items instead
of healthy ones. However
, government
can help Add an article
the government
public
to reduce Add an article
the public
obesity
Correct article usage
the obesity
problem
by adding taxes on sugary drinks and other sweet products, which affects
a child's health or well-being.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
although
body fat is a growing issue in numerous countries, the viable solution of
Change preposition
to
this
problem
is that the
parents can encourage them to Correct article usage
apply
do
healthy Verb problem
have
breakfast
Fix the agreement mistake
breakfasts
as well
as
teachers should Correct word choice
and
gave
them separate lectures on Change the verb form
give
obesity
. Another solution of
Change preposition
to
this
issue is adding taxes on obesity creating
products by organizations.Add a hyphen
obesity-creating
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task achievement
To enhance your response, add more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas. While the essay covers multiple aspects, at times, the transitions between points could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Revise the conclusion to ensure it is more comprehensive and summarizes all the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the dual questions of causes and solutions to childhood obesity.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument effectively.
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