IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The first chart below shows how energy is used in average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The first pie chart demonstrates the
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption in Australian
households
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the second chart shows greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 in
households
Use synonyms
 in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the
energy
Use synonyms
 is used for heating, meanwhile, the minimum is needed for cooling.
In addition
Linking Words
,
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 are produced mostly by water heating but cooling has the lowest effect.
Although
Linking Words
 42% of the
energy
Use synonyms
 in Australian
households
Use synonyms
 is consumed for heating and 30% for water heating, the greenhouse effect is produced because of heating only by 15% and water heating by 32%.
Also
Linking Words
, 15% of the
energy
Use synonyms
 is used by other appliances,
however
Linking Words
, they play a bigger role regarding
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
, particularly 28%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, refrigeration, lighting and cooling take a low place in both charts being equal to 7%, 4% and 2% of the
energy
Use synonyms
 spent in
households
Use synonyms
 and 14%, 8% and 3% respectively in
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is obvious that cooling has a minimal role in the household's
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 usage and
gas
Use synonyms
 emission.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, households, gas, emissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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