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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (line graph)

The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (line graph)
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The line chart depicts the rate of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 obtaining different types of electronic equipment from 1995 and 2015 . It is clear from the graph that the percentage of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 with computer devices continuously dominated compared with other devices .
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown the equivalent figure of MP3
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
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 ranked the lowest rate during the period shown .
Beside
Change preposition
Besides
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 the mobile phone saw a clear upward trend from 10 to 70 between 1995 to 2000 .The quantity number of mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 increased remarkably peaking at 98% approximately.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the computer was around 9% in 1995 which jumped to 98% by 2015 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , the amount of MO3 reached below 18% in 1995
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
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 in the following years remained stable with
figure
Correct article usage
a figure
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about
Change preposition
of about
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 49% .
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
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 table showed
Correct article usage
a sharply
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sharply increased
Replace the word
sharp increase
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 from 20% to 60% between 2005 to 2010 and grew to 80% in 2015.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line chart
  • ownership percentages
  • electronic devices
  • 20-year period
  • significant increases
  • significant decreases
  • detailed comparison
  • highest ownership rates
  • dramatic changes
  • potential reasons
  • trends
  • shifts
  • insights
  • implications
  • future device ownership patterns
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