The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart and table present information based
o
Change preposition
on
show examples
the location and types of dance classes in which young people from Australia are participating
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Overall
, the biggest proportion of
indiuviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
prefer private studios,
while
the least part of participants choose college-based studios.
Firstly
, almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of all dancers prefer to have
a ldanse lessons
Correct the article-noun agreement
ldanse lessons
a ldanse lesson
show examples
in a private studio,
while
at least a
quater
Correct your spelling
quarter
choose
scholl
Correct your spelling
school
Scholl
halls and study where after
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
day.
Besides
, 10% and 18% were allocated to college-based
stidios
Correct your spelling
studios
studies
and community halls respectively.
Secondly
,
accordind
Correct your spelling
according
to the data presented in the table 600
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
under 11 prefer to visit ballet classes, around 450 choose
tap
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to tap
show examples
and only 300
parcipate
Correct your spelling
participate
participated
in
moder
Correct your spelling
modern
dance courses. Another age group has the same preferences. Over 500
students
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fans of modern dancing,
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
tap
clases
Correct your spelling
classes
class
were chosen by
aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
400
students
,
while
only 300 pupils are participating in ballet. In conclusion, it is obvious that as you get older, your preferences change.
This
process is
also
demonstrated in the presented charts.
For example
,
students
under 11 choose ballet,
while
pupils from 11 to 16 prefer more modern dance, these preferences are reflected in the places where they practice,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is why older
students
prefer
more some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
advanced
cources
Correct your spelling
courses
in private studios and
thiss
Correct your spelling
this
choose
Replace the word
choices
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
influence
Correct article usage
an influence
show examples
on
Change preposition
by
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the first pie chart.
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
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