It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
and the young, it is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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important to store
money
for their future.
This
essay
is think
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is thought
is thinking
show examples
positive about
this
tendency because it gives a chance for
people
to invest or take
profit
Add an article
the profit
show examples
out of their
money
,
also
, it makes society more financially educated that basically a good change cause it
Add the particle
to help
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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to
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apply
show examples
all citizens be more accurate with their budget and spendings. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of precipition, folks around the world prefer to short their spending and
restore
Verb problem
spend
show examples
more
money
on the more important needs as rent, business or education, and it
help
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helps
show examples
in
Correct article usage
the developement
show examples
developement
Correct your spelling
development
of society .
For instance
, businessmen like to invest their
money
to
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in
show examples
highly
risked
Replace the word
risky
show examples
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
which can
gives
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give
show examples
them in future feedback several times more
budjet
Correct your spelling
budget
,
also
, it
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
not always
an
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a
show examples
usual type of business, it can be scientific research that can lead to improvement in
medicine
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the medical
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sphere.
On the other hand
, it improves
a
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apply
show examples
financial education because
people
will be more careful where they are going to invest and
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with who
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
whom
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
folk that will take
money
.
For example
, in Kazakhstan, citizens meet a lot of casinos and bet companies ,
however
, only
a
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apply
show examples
5% of
people
interested
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are interested
show examples
in
this
sphere cause
the
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apply
show examples
most of the
people
know the problems and store their
money
on other plans like
a
Change the article
an
show examples
apartment, for reason that pupils have a subject about finance and
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
the basic rule of investments. In conclusion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
want to say that
people
's saving
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
one of the fundamental
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prosperity and
developement
Correct your spelling
development
.
Submitted by dimash.shaitmahmet on

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grammatical
Try to avoid spelling and grammatical errors. Proofreading your essay before submission will help in catching these mistakes.
structural
Each paragraph should explore a single main point and be more tightly structured.
coherence
Use transition words and phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'Additionally,' to improve the coherence of your paragraphs.
evidence
Include some statistics or more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
content
The essay acknowledges the importance of financial education, which is a relevant and compelling argument.
structural
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear but general sense of what the essay will discuss.
evidence
The examples given, such as the situation in Kazakhstan, make the essay more relatable and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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